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Holding grief in does not help

HOUGHTON — Everybody hurts with grief sometimes, and there are healthy ways to cope with it, said Leslie Griffith, outpatient program director at a community forum held at Houghton High School Monday night on the three-month anniversary of the flood.

To maintain resiliency, people can do things such as exercise and eat nutritionally, maintain a healthy balance and be willing to seek support if needed.

Griffith also suggested a “buddy system,” where people can be on look for potential symptoms.

“Oftentimes, other people will recognize our stress before we do,” she said.

Grief was one of the most common responses seen by Crystal Stone, outpatient services therapist for Copper Country Mental Health. Grief presents itself with the loss of loved ones, but it also can be present in any major loss – of property, items of sentimental value, or even the loss of a sense of safety, she said.

“When people find themselves saying, ‘You have to be strong,’ sometimes that can be reinterpreted as, ‘Don’t feel what you’re actually feeling. Don’t have the normal responses that you’re having. Just be strong. Put it away, tuck it away, move on, keep on doing the next thing,'” she said.

People grieving can feel numb, sad or angry. The physical symptoms can be trembling, muscle weakness, nausea and insomnia.

Events can prolong grief for people. One of Stone’s friends stayed in several places short-term after the flood, which compounded her grief.

People can fall back on unhealthy coping mechanisms to get through the event, such as drug or alcohol use, procrastination or self-harm.

Healthier alternatives are talking about your problem, seeking professional help and relaxation techniques such as deep breathing.

Grief is normal, Stone said, and has its own timetable that doesn’t always fit in regular life.

“We all need help sometimes,” Stone said. “Healthy help makes you empowered and more independent in the long run.”

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