To the editor:
In looking through my journals, written daily for 35 years, I came across some marital advice presented in a sermon given at First United Methodist Church in Hancock in 1982.
It began, "Compatibility is not a prerequisite, it is an achievement of a good marriage."
The process involves the following:
"Concept: Couples should have realistic expectations of marriage when they take the vow. A successful marriage can occur between any two people if they 1.) know what to do and 2.) do it.
"Character: A successful marriage involves mature people who are not overly selfish. People who tend to be jealous, weak and pleasure-seeking are less likely to have successful marriages.
"Courage to change: If your relationship is not changing, it may not be a good marriage. We should not be afraid of hurdles, because it is only through overcoming them that we move to new plateaus in our relationship."
It occurs to me that this advice can be applied far beyond marriage. Responsible personal behavior percolates upward and is essential for an effective democracy and a peaceful world.
Knowing what to do and then doing it is perhaps the hardest part in all our interactions. President Obama acknowledges that our nation is in uncharted territory, facing huge problems. He says we will try one thing, and if it doesn't work, we will try something else.
Good relationships are built on mutual respect rather than disparity in power. Some would say that the Soviet Union collapsed because it invested too heavily in its military and neglected its domestic needs. The arms race is over. We won. Now it is time to beat our swords into solar panels.
As for courage to change, this may be the best gift my generation (I'm 61) can offer our children and grandchildren. When we came of age, we were eager for change, and we must continue to encourage young folks as they struggle to correct our nation's course. It was during our watch that the U.S. allowed the freedom to amass personal wealth to overcome our commitment to the common good.
Carolyn C. Peterson
Houghton