On Sunday we were able to watch three of the teams (the Bears were in hibernation this week and they still gave up a sack) from the North in action and were treated to some very interesting football and some odd storylines. In fact, the three games were so compelling we decided to shine the light to the North by focusing some of our random thoughts on the two teams that found their aura in the Aurora and on the one that seemingly accelerated their descent into the nether reaches of the league.
Even without key players such as Al Harris, Atari Bigby, Morgan Burnett, Nick Barnett, Brad Jones, Brady Poppinga, Ryan Pickett, Mike Neal, Johnny Jolly, Justin Harrell, and Derrick Martin, the Packers used new defensive players in New Jersey at the New Meadowlands to defeat the New York Jets and post their first road shutout since 1991. Each of the newbies managed to contribute to the win, giving Ted Thompson a reason to spread his talent-acquiring tailfeathers.
Fourth-string safety Charlie Peprah made two decisive hits on Jets receivers that caused the ball to be incomplete on crucial plays late in the game.
Rookie free agent Frank Zombo forced a Brad Smith fumble during a run from the overhyped underproductive wildcat formation (which coincidentally reminds us of Rich Rodriguez's offense).
Howard Green, who was a Jet on Tuesday, walked off the field on Sunday as a contributing member of the victorious Packers. In fact, Green (if you saw the game you may remember his belly) played more than 20 snaps on the defensive line and shot into the backfield to disrupt a reverse, causing an 8-yard loss.
Like Green, Erik Walden was another midweek addition who was signed to add a warm body to the depleted defensive line rotation and he played enough snaps to keep other contributors from getting gassed.
CJ Wilson continued to provide solid minutes in place of the four injured defensive ends and he has earned a shot to be in the regular rotation even when the other linemen return to health.
The guys who were synonymous with anonymous became more familiar to those scanning the internet (or game program if you happened to be an attendee) for information as the unexpected group of camp fodder held the Jets to zero points, 99 yards rushing, and a long run from the lauded Jets running backs of a measly 8 yards.
The game was all about defense on both sides of the ball.
In fact, it took a botched fake punt to provide the Packers with the field position needed to score the necessary points to take the victory and blustery coach Rex Ryan was roundly chastised by the talking heads for calling the play. After further review Rex didn't call the play, although he does give his players the latitude and freedom to be stupid and punter Steve Weatherford ran with the offer and the ball. The problem was that he only ran for 17 yards (the Packers challenged because the official missed the spot) on fourth-and-18 from the Jets 20-yard line. Oops.
When asked about the play Weatherford said, "I didn't see exactly how many yards we lost on the sack (by Brandon Chillar on the previous play). Once I get out of the pocket I feel like if it's 12 or 15 yards I think I can make it." Perhaps if it had only been 12 or 15 yards.
The Packers rushed only three for most of the day choosing to allow the overrated Mark Sanchez to beat them by targeting, and often missing, his dropsy-prone receiving corps. The strategy kept the Jet running game in check and also led to two interesting interceptions for the Pack with each coming as Tramon Williams and Charles Woodson continued fighting for the ball while going to, and on, the ground.
With a 5-3 record at the midpoint of their season the Pack is in first place in the division. That wouldn't have been a shocking statement had it been made in August but with injuries to many key players (aside from the aforementioned defensive folks add Mark Tauscher, Ryan Grant, Jermichael Finley etc. to the list) it may bode well for the rest of the season.
Also warming the hearts of the Packer faithful was the sound of the "go Pack go" (sans bass accompaniment) chant that was resonating throughout the Jersey stadium as Clay Matthews recorded a sack on the final third down of the final Jets possession.
On to Detroit, where the fans in attendance didn't arrive in numbers large enough for the fans at home to get to watch the game on the flat screen that they just purchased from the unemployed guy next door. Oh well, if they continue to play like this, sellouts are on the horizon.
The Lions defensive line dominated the game and sacked the opposing QB seven times with Ndamukong Suh, Kyle Vanden Bosch, and Cliff Avril recording two each.
DeAndre Levy was healthy and back at linebacker and, with the aforementioned line, helped hold the Skins to 80 yards rushing.
Hopefully Stafford won over the misguided many who wanted Shaun Hill to continue to play once he returned to health. Give the franchise QB some time to develop before you start a controversy.
The Lions are now the highest scoring team in the NFC (183 points) and when you consider they have played one fewer game than supposed high-powered offenses like Green Bay (176) and New Orleans (167), and were missing their starting QB for the majority of the season, there is a lot to like.
Driving for a touchdown after the Skins had reclaimed the lead (25-20) with a 96-yard fourth-quarter kickoff return was something that past Lion teams would have be incapable of doing. If the team can regularly respond to adversity the way they did on Sunday, the results will follow.
With a tip of the hat to the crack staff, we offer the Dan Snyder stat of the week: In their last 40 games the Lions are 2-1 versus the Redskins and 2-35 versus the rest of the league (other wins versus Cleveland and St. Louis).
The Redskins and new head coach Norv Turner, err Terry Robiskie, err Marty Schottenheimer, err Steve Spurrier, err Joe Gibbs, err Jim Zorn, ah Mike Shanahan lost again and during the recent years of futility one thing remains constant, Snyder. The list of coaches and big-name free agents has led to a single playoff win since Dan took over the stewardship of the team in 1999 after former owner Jack Kent Cooke passed away.
If Dan was an employee of Dan he would fire Dan.
This year's big player acquisition, quarterback Donovan McNabb, was benched by big coaching acquisition Shanahan. McNabb planted himself on the bench so former North QB Rex Grossman could lead the Washington comeback (in fairness it should be noted that each QB has led a team to one Super Bowl).
And sure enough, success, on his first play from scrimmage Rex produced points.
For the Lions.
Ndamukong Suh nearly pulled a Leon Lett. Hopefully he learned a lesson.
As Washington senior V.P. of public relations Tony Wyllie said, "He (Shanahan) felt that with only one minute left, (Grossman) gave us the best chance to win. He was more familiar with the two-minute terminology and offense. McNabb is still the starting quarterback."
First, any public relations job with the Skins is underpaid.
Second, if Rex really knows the 2-minute offense better than Donovan we offer two plausible explanations: The coaches, including Shanahan and the nepotistic offensive coordinator (his son Kyle), haven't done their job or McNabb hasn't worked hard enough to learn the offense since becoming a Snyder minion in April. In either case, it is a sure sign of the lack of organization within the organization.
Third, it should be a fun bye week in D.C. before the team faces the Eagles in McNabb/Kolb part II err, Grossman/Vick part I? Whatever.
Fourth, we expect McNabb, who is still the starting quarterback but once wasn't aware that there could be ties in the NFL, to be keeping one eye on his contract, which expires at the end of the season, and the other on the door that just opened a little wider.
A door to where, you ask?
Perhaps to Minnesota as a stopgap replacement to step in after Punx possibly, maybe, finally, retires.
Hey, why not? Dysfunction loves company almost as much as misery.
The Vikings lost to New England in spite of Brett Favre completing 22 of 32 passes for 259 yards and generally playing a solid game.
At 2-5, how long will he continue to play with the childlike, gun slinging, infectious spirit while battling injuries with his elbow, foot, jaw, and assorted non-football related anatomical issues? That remains to be seen.
How long will Randy Moss be content running around as a wooden duck?
Uh, the grace period is over. Warranty expired. Honeymoon never happened. Childress actually referred to him as a "decoy" and then showed him the door.
Moss melted down in a postgame presser and called Bill Belichick the greatest coach in NFL history (we agree with the anti-Childress sentiment of the thought but not the hyperbole), said he would only answer questions that he asked himself (presumably in the third person), and outright questioned Brad's decision to eschew the field goal at the end of the half and his willingness to ignore the inside information that Moss provided regarding the general tendencies of the Pats.
An aside: The grief Belichick received for trading Moss has dissipated because it is clear that the receiver could be losing it before our eyes.
One question we'd like to ask Randy to ask Randy is where Chilly ranks on his list of all-time greatest coaches.
The pressure is building in Minny. Aside from the running joke regarding Brett's loose Wranglers, last week the coach (in title only) chastised the quarterback, the quarterback retorted snidely and then declared himself the starter, and this week the newly acquired receiver chastised the coach and became the newly departed receiver.
The sound you hear is the traditional celebratory Viking horn, except this time the Viking ship is sinking and the horn is being used as a signal for help. The chaos surrounding this team has morphed into something much more significant than what is common in the league and due to the disorganization, expect more jobs to be lost.
Don't look now, but the Lions are tied with the Vikings but with both teams choosing a different trajectory don't be shocked if Detroit starts to cut into the 2.5 game gap to the top spot in the North (yeah, we said it) and the Vikes head for the cellar.
And with that we enter week nine with another potentially great round of stories shining out of the Northern skies. Stay tuned.
WEEK NINE NORTH PICKS (11-12 record)
Chicago minus 3 at Buffalo ---- After two straight overtime losses the Bills host a Bears team coming off of a bye. The Bears should win and that will put the pressure squarely on the Lions, who travel to Buffalo next weekend in a game that will feature Detroit looking to avoid setting the worst road losing streak in history, possibly coupled with the ignominy of handing the Bills their first win of the season.
Dallas plus 8 at Green Bay ---- A prime time game on Sunday with Dallas on the cusp of mailing in their season and the Pack on the verge of entering their much-needed bye with a 6-3 record. Something about this game seems fishy and since Dallas has crumbled to 0-4 at home this season, and is seemingly out of the playoff race, the pressure will be on GB. Perhaps not being in a position to be embarrassed at home (although still be embarrassed on national TV) will be of some comfort to the Lone Stars. While it is certainly possible, perhaps likely, that the Dallas implosion continues and Aaron Rodgers morphs into David Garrard (yes, that Garrard, the chap who threw for four TD's and ran for another against the Wade Phillips coordinated defense) we see a closer game with a potential Dallas cover and a slight (win but not cover) Packer letdown.
Jets minus 3.5 at Lions ---- The Packers used a run-stuffing strategy and dared Mark Sanchez to beat them. The result was little running room, two interceptions (and potentially a couple of more that were dropped), and zero Jet points. With the talent on the Lion d-line the potential is there to use a similar strategy that could yield similar results, however, with the talent missing from the defensive backfield it may not come to fruition.
Vikings minus 8 versus Cards ---- The Cards have no quarterback. The Vikings are in complete organizational disarray. This game could be the de-facto McNabb bowl as both teams could be likely destinations for the QB once he leaves Washington. We give the edge to the team that currently has a quarterback, although it should be a very interesting and entertaining week in Minnesota, the new Peyton (and we don't mean Manning) Place.
WEEK NINE PICKS (7-6 record)
New Orleans minus 6.5 at Carolina ---- The Panthers can't score and the Saints defense is playing great football.
Oakland minus 2.5 versus KC ---- Can the Raiders win three games in a row? Are the Chiefs and/or Raiders for real? Can either of these teams win the division? We'll place our wager on the Raiders playing at home.
PEEVE OF THE WEEK
Get out and vote today!
Caveats: If you support the unabashed burning of a certain document, want more government intrusion into your freedom and your wallet, less personal responsibility, and believe that our leaders actually solve problems, then please stay away from your local polling place. You've done enough already, thank you.
In honor of the hopeful end (today is the first salvo, the modern day shot heard round the world, Number Nine) of ubiquitous government intrusion we offer a retort to one of our readers who took umbrage with our characterization of Social Security as a Ponzi scheme that can't be sustained and should be dramatically modified.
The Collins English Dictionary defines a Ponzi as, "a fraudulent investment operation that pays quick returns to initial contributors using money from subsequent contributors rather than profit."
Ida May Fuller was an initial contributor to, and first recipient of, Social Security and precisely used "money from subsequent contributors" to directly benefit from the government endorsed sham-o-rama. Unless, of course, fortuitous Fuller's total "investment" of $49.50 managed to grow by an astounding 46,000 percent during the depression. In that case, her benefits in the amount of $22,889 would have been the result of a miraculous profit rather than simply the largesse of those folks who had been forced to join the government sponsored pyramid after the foundation of serendipitous constituents had been put in place.
We will acknowledge that our Lilliputian staff can't possibly be as omniscient as the seemingly omnipotent intelligentsia oppressing us with their omnipresence in our lives. However, even our feeble collective brain (we're Borg-like, and we don't mean Bjorn) comprehends the notion that the time to begin dramatically modifying the entitlement is in the rear view mirror. Why has our Gulliver government continued to dismiss all attempts to correct the obviously problematic program (why do today what can be done in a future that never arrives)?
The most obvious answer is the potentially massive loss of votes from constituents who haven't been made aware of the depth and breadth of the coming calamity. Other possible answers include the dramatic loss of bureaucratic power over your life, the diminished political prestige coming from said power drain, the deprivation of control over massive amounts of your money, and the lack of folks lining up to feed at the government trough as independence begins to reign (again).
Of course, those are the logical, though rarely spoken, answers. Instead, through the common political process of obfuscation the faux leaders use a propagandistic campaign of fear (grandma will die because she can't afford warm socks), fear (greedy Wall Street fat cats will bilk you out of your money), fear (you will lose your job), fear (the market will crash), fear (you will become disabled and destitute), and more fear (fill in blank), to end any debate before it can move past the opening phase.
All of the above are actually valid reasons to try something new and different rather than reasons to maintain anything resembling the defective status quo. The initially noble intentions of the ruling nobility when they implemented this shambolic program have also caused what would have presumably been responsible citizens to eschew their responsibilities and rely on the "supplemental" retirement program as their main (only) source of funds during the supposed golden years.
The program has also caused politicians who would have presumably been irresponsible to eschew their responsibilities as they would have done anyway, however, in the process they have added terms such as "trust fund" and "lock box" to the lexicon of nonsensical diversionary political speak in their ongoing effort to mislead with sleight of tongue.
We favor giving younger folks the option of taking the 6.2 percent that is regularly swiped from their wages (plus the employer 6.2 percent match) and doing something that will actually create individual wealth rather than subsistence-level living later in life.
And now, some fun with math: As an example, we'll use a family making the median U.S. household income of $50,000 and contributing a total of 12.4 percent (current SS percent including employer match) or $6,400 per year to their personal retirement account(s). If the contributor(s) starts at age 25, works for 40 years, receives a 4 percent annual return, and never gets a raise or increased contribution, the total account value at age 65 will be roughly $613,000.
If you change the rate of return to 2 percent then the final account total would be $382,000.
At 6 percent it would be $1,017,000.
The weaning off of the government teat could be done on an age-based graduated scale. For example, those under 25 could opt-out of SS entirely, those 35-45 could do so in part, and those already receiving benefits would not endure any changes to their lofty situation or status. Anyone could opt for the "safety" option and remain a ward of the state (butt of the cocktail party joke) by allowing the government to squander their wealth, err manage their assets, for them.
A word of warning for those who would still choose to be a victim of the OASDI (Old Age Survivor and Disability Trust Funds), which is the mythical SS trust fund, consider that the government has rarely exceed a 1 percent annual return, and from the fund's inception (1940) through 1986 the average annual return was negative (the trust lost money).
Another significant benefit to the modification would be allowing the vast accumulation of private wealth (see; fun with math) to be passed to heirs such as children, grandchildren, widows, and widowers (and us) rather having it disappear into the public black hole once a beneficiary has been put in a hole. When looked at from this perspective alone the destruction of your potential wealth via the government asset-eating behemoth has been borderline criminal.
Like any government monstrosity, the current entitlement cannot be unwound in an instant, however, the process should begin now because the longer the politicians wait, the more assets vanish into the abyss and the more difficult the eventual solutions become.
We hypothesize that the long-term results of the revised program would eventually lead to everyone choosing to accumulate wealth in their own accounts (gasp, a massive reclamation of personal responsibility) and the government option dissolving into a sad historical footnote.
The fearmongers will continue to resist any plan that removes power from the central collective but the bottom line is that investing is about the bottom line, your bottom line, and there is nobody who will do a better job with your assets than you. Certainly not the solutions oriented 536 leaders sitting on their assets in D.C. giving drunken sailors a bad name.
As with the wonders in Giza, our government structured their homage to Khufu with a substantial foundation consisting of large numbers of contributors with few beneficiaries added on top. The significant difference between the Egyptian pharaoh's monument and the U.S. version is that due to the demographics of our nation, and under the watchful eye of the Sphinx-like economic guards in Congress, our pyramid is about to become inverted and will be wobbling precariously on its pyramidion (capstone) before finally collapsing.
Congratulations and thanks to the Michigan Tech football team for the thoroughly entertaining Division II upset of the formerly top-ranked Grand Valley State Lakers. Playoffs anyone (kudos to all other divisions of football for adopting such an odd concept and eschewing the BS, err, BCS)?
Lost in much of the media melee this week is the third-round pick that was flushed by the Vikes to acquire Moss.
We speculated earlier on the potential landing pads for Donovan, but what about Moss? Could they be possibly be united in Washington? We wouldn't put anything past the Skins. If it happens Donovan would have had the pleasure of teaming with Terrell Owens and Moss.
How is support for the new stadium coming in the Twin Cities?
This was only the sixth road goose in the last 50 years for the Packer defense.
Over the last 85 years (a period that includes the Great Depression, WWI, WWII, disco, the last Detroit Lion championship season, etc.) the S&P 500 Index has given investors nearly a 10 percent annual return, government bonds have returned approximately 4 percent, and a 50/50 blended (stock/bond) portfolio has returned over 5 percent.
For further fear mitigation consider that in 60 of the past 85 years the return on the S&P 500 has been positive.
Gulliver was held prisoner by race of people one-twelfth the size of normal humans while our populace is being held prisoner by a government that is at least 12 times too large.
The Raiders dominated again this week, posting 33 points and 545 yards a week after embarrassing the Broncos with a 59-point effort. Considering the nature of the Raiders they'll probably make a quarterback change and go back to Bruce Gradkowski once he is healthy. That should sap all of the momentum from an awful season turned good.
This just in (and we're not kidding): Tom Cable has said that he will start Bruce once he is healthy.
Don't be surprised if his health miraculously returns when/if Jason Campbell's production deteriorates.
Clearly year two of the debuilding plan in Denver is going well. Franchise quarterback, gone. Franchise receiver, gone. Waste draft picks (Alphonso Smith etc.), check. Lose by a million points to the rival Raiders, check. Export putrid performance to England, check.
How can the Niners and starting Alex, err, Troy Smith to put up 21 points in the fourth quarter on anyone anywhere? Jolly good show Broncs.
Albert Haynesworth has been forgotten in D.C. now that Shanahan/McNabb has become the new feud. We'll do our best to keep his fat, err, contract in the public domain.
Odd: Tampa QB Josh Freeman has six fourth-quarter comebacks in 16 starts and the Bucs have won five straight road games.
When certain teams lose, many fans (including us if you haven't noticed) have a Schadenfreude moment and in the past couple of weeks those anti-fans have been unusually giddy.
The Yankees' payroll was eliminated from playing in its billionth World Series.
The Irish head into their bye after losing back-to-back home games to Navy and Tulsa and need to win two of three from Utah, Army, and USC to be bowl eligible.
The fans in Jerry Jones' new stadium were chanting "lets go Rangers" during the Cowboys game on Sunday.
Where are the calls to fire the Matt Millen of Dallas? Fire the GM! Get rid of him before he destroys the franchise. Uh, yeah, we know, Jerry is the owner, GM, president, and team spokesperson for quirky plastic surgical procedures and much like Snyder he can't, but should, fire himself.
Maybe Wade Phillips has that permanent tabula rasa look on his face because Jerry sent him to his surgeon.
In a moment of personal mea culpa Jerry did note that, "there is no question that I have the plan and executing it to have the best players and best coaching we can have. I'm dumbfounded that we are 1-7."
Whoa Jerry, let's not get ahead of ourselves, the Cowboys are merely 1-6.
In other Millen-related news, Mike Florio (of profootballtalk.com, one of our favorite sites), when commenting on the GM turned commentator, said during an interview with WEEI radio in Boston, "How does no one realize that this guy has only demonstrated he doesn't know anything? I can't listen to anything he says. Every time I see his face on the screen, it's like, in my brain, 0-16 superimposes over the screen, and I can't get past that."
Join the club. And while you're at it; ask someone who has some power over such matters why Millen was allowed to announce the Michigan/Michigan State game this year.
Since Childress has already taken the moniker NaCl we have decided to start referring to Millen as "lemon juice" because, like NaCl, when applied to an open wound he also stings, in your ear he is as annoying as the remnant of chlorinated water after a swim, in your eye he irritates and precipitates tears, and when you ask someone about the man their facial reaction is quite similar to the one that occurs when sucking on a lemon.
Congrats Matt. We'll be having a bloody lemon (shot of vodka and a half-shot of lemon juice topped with tomato juice) in your honor.
In the Big11Ten the fading Wolverines (lost three straight) host Illinois as the pressure mounts in a season that has more than a sense of deja vu for UM fans who don't want to party like it's 2009 again (unless it means the end of Rich Rod).
Elsewhere on the ranch, Wisconsin (BCS 9) travels to Purdue after a well-deserved bye, Ohio State (11) has a bye, Iowa (16) tries to keep momentum at Indiana, and Michigan State (14) gets to take out their frustrations on the Gophers in East Lansing.
In a 2000 case deciding whether the states could impose limits on campaign contributions without violating the First Amendment, Justice John Paul Stevens (generally viewed as a liberal who retired in June 2010 and was replaced by Elena Kagan) wrote, "Money is property; it is not speech."
And as we piece together the ashes we note that the "due process" clause of the Fifth Amendment states, no person shall be "deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law" and the last sentence of said amendment adds, "nor shall private property be taken for public use without just compensation."
The Constitutional authority for Social Security is seemingly derived from the general power of Congress to tax (spend) and the blanket use of the "general welfare" clause (Article I, Section 8, Clause 1) to justify any and all spending "to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States" when no other citable justification exists.
Those in power repeatedly ignore the fact that their power is limited to those enumerated in the document and that a statement qualifying the ability to tax/spend is not a specific grant of power. Read the document and cite the authority!
Related: The pyro-congressionalists should also pay a bit more attention to the "pay the debts" portion of the above clause.
The new AP preseason college hoops poll is out and Big11Ten members Michigan State (ranked 2), Ohio State (4), Illinois (13), Purdue (14, even with the loss of Robbie Hummel) are all represented. For those keeping tabs, and it is a mandatory exercise for the crack staff, Wisconsin (Go Badgers!) is the first team in the "also receiving votes" category so we'll call it five conference teams in the top 26.
In a contrived example of hoops home court advantage pandering, more than 300 people registered to be one of the exclusive 50 members of the Power Plant.
The Power Plant is a "spirit section" at the Palace. The Pistons want a vocal cheering mass so they are offering a free lower-level ticket for all (41) home games to fans who will show up for every game and stand, cheer, exude optimism, spread contagious disease, err, enthusiasm, etc.
Sounds great, except, only 11 of the registered people showed up at the "audition" which we assume (you/me) was a lot like a really peppy job interview (Up with People?). We're guessing that the other 289-plus registrants can't be counted on to make it to 41 games, however, the 11 deserve to see the Pistons 41 times.
Perhaps if Joe Dumars hadn't dismantled the team (Chauncey Billups for Allen Iverson, etc.) in hopes of landing one of the mega 2010 free agents then fans wouldn't have needed a forceful injection of spirit induced by free season tickets.
In all instances of past Ponzi schemes the swindlers, Bernie Madoff, Charles Ponzi, etc. went to jail, while the perps running the world's largest Ponzi are, in some circles, currently a cherished part of our government.
In our view that won't last long as, without action, the house of cards will begin to fall.
Prior to their game in Foxborough, the Vikings reportedly added some protection to Favre's injured foot that forced him to play with one size 15 shoe (his normal size is 14).
We simply put that out there so the folks at Mythbusters could eliminate that bit of lore from contention for a future segment.
The Scott Company is making toilet paper without cardboard tubes and depriving poor youth everywhere of telescopes and towers for their castles.
Related: Democrats, looking for any edge in today's election, released a statement denouncing the move as being purely about evil corporate profit without consideration for the deprived families who regularly and creatively use household trash as toys.
Hey, one man's trash is another man's Hubble.
We recommend egg cartons, popsicle sticks, and cereal boxes.
Deanna Favre recently did the morning show circuit (did anyone else notice that she appeared to be wearing a Jenn Sterger costume?) promoting her latest book about something and one of the segments on ABC was "Turning to faith during tough times" and somehow the host, Robin Miller, forgot to ask about commandment seven.
Related: We are trying to confirm a rumor that someone named Faith may have also received a lewd text from Brett as he misinterpreted the segment's theme while he watched the program from the comfort of his Crocs.
We are also exploring a theory that Brett simply wanted to have a home version of Deanna (the original) and a road version of Deanna (travel size, err, age) and was simply wondering if Sterger wanted to play the role, err role play, err whatever.
Thanksgiving is coming soon and, on advice from a sage Cablinasian, Brett has removed all golf clubs from his house.
For those wondering what happened to the column last week, we had an unscheduled bye due to a scheduling error by a temporary member of the staff.
No, it wasn't Randy Moss.
You can contact us at email@example.com to pummel, correct, flog, berate, castigate, or to deliver something other than the stuff we receive at home on a regular basis.
Gotta go, it's time to take the cats to vote (early and often).