Unfortunately, we have the habit of thinking about religion only in stentorian terms - solemn, resonant, lugubrious, ceremonial, overly majestic and formal - in a word, holier-than-thou. Of course, religion should not be taken facetiously, yet a little witty addition slipped into religious texts - whether intentional or not - is attention getting and pleasantly diverting.
One of the ways to attract attention, for example, is to use the billboard approach, to set up a sign outside the church for informative messages. Here are a few that certainly caught the eye:
- At Our Savior's Church: "You may party in hell, but you will be the barbeque!"
- First Church of Awesome Works: "How do we make holy water? We boil the hell out of it!"
- Church of God: "Every day above ground is a good one."
- At the Christian Fellowship Church: "Parking is for members only - trespassers will be baptized!"
- First Baptist Church: "Worship 10AM, Topic: Who's Your Daddy?"
-?South End Baptist: "Whoever is praying for snow, PLEASE STOP!"
- "To be almost saved is to be totally lost."
- Claude Presbyterian: "There are some questions that can't be answered by Google."
- Church of God: "Honk if you love Jesus - text while driving, if you want to meet Him."
- River Falls Baptist Church: "What's missing from CH CH? - UR"
- Adam blamed Eve. "Eve blamed the snake, and the snake didn't have a leg to stand on."
- First Reform Church: "Keep using my name in vain & I'll make rush hour longer - God."
Those are the results from the wit of clever clergymen, designed to capture the attention of normally inattentive passersby. But then there are messages found in church bulletins with accidental goofs. They are always worth a chuckle or two - at a lazy proofreader's expense:
- Potluck supper Sunday at 5 p.m. Prayer & medication to follow.
- Sister Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will speak tonight. Come and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
- Ladies, for the rummage sale it's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
- The sermon this morning is,"Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight is "Searching for Jesus."
- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
- Don't let worry kill you off. Let the Church help.
- Irving Benson & Jessie Carter married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the Church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
Note: Although it's big news among music groups, there may be some of you who don't know that Eric Whitacre will be at Michigan Tech this week to give an open talk today and to conduct a concert of his band and choral music tomorrow. Both events are at the Rozsa Center at 7:30 p.m. He is without a doubt the premier choral composer and conductor in the world today. That he is coming to Houghton is incredible. Check him out by going to his website ericwhitacre.com and/or check out the virtual choir version of his composition "Sleep" at youtube.com/watch?v=6WhWDCw3Mng.
Rotten Tomatoes averages: "Footloose," B-; "Thing," D+