HOUGHTON - What makes Michigan great?
Eight student groups tackled that question in comic (or dramatic) form Thursday night during the Michigan Technological University's Winter Carnival Stage Revue.
Subjects like Eminem, pasties, Northern Michigan University, the Packers and endless winter were served up with varying degrees of affection.
Several skits took the form of a travelogue. In each case, the parties headed north toward civilization.
The Northern Alliance, a group of the northern-most residence halls, turned out a cooking show parody, as hosts Emerald and Ruby headed to the U.P. to find ingredients for the Perfect Pasty. The show came with a commercial break with ads for the Department of Natural Resources and taxidermy.
In Delta Chi Epsilon's skit, grandparents George and Edith got hopelessly lost on the way to a Red Wings game, eventually picking their granddaughter up at an Eminem concert and taking her to Winter Carnival. The Air Force ROTC took a star-studded route; A strong Houghton wind sent Lucille Ball forward in time 50-plus years; with the help of Eminem, Tim Allen and the shirtless guy from "Twilight," she journeyed to the "Wizard Mroz."
Alpha Gamma Delta followed prospective college student Mitchie and his mom on a tour of Michigan universities. Don't worry: Mitchie eventually fell in with the friendly broomball- and "Call of Duty"-playing folks at MTU. But first, he toured several other universities, each with their own amplified quirks: Western Michigan University, thugged-out and crazy; University of Michigan, imperious and overstuffed; Northern Michigan University, a place where people double-major in "cupcake baking and interpretive dance" without shame. And also Finlandia.
"It's right here on the map, but I can''t find it anywhere!" they complained.
Phi Delta Chi's sketch took opposites - a Minnesotan, a Yooper, a Packers fan, a Lions fan, a Beverly Hills socialite, a snarky hipster and an Eminem clone - and threw them into an introductory MTU course.
"I took this course because I wanted to know all Michigan's weaknesses and bring it back to my man, Aaron Rodgers," said the Wisconsin student, clad in a Packers jersey and green-and-yellow facepaint.
Alpha Xi Zeta detailed how God created the U.P., including the Mackinac Bridge and a 51-week winter.
"This year, that was last week," the narrator said. "Sorry about the statues."
Sigma Phi Epsilon finished the night with "The Motown Showdown," in which Motown founder Berry Gordy Jr., Kid Rock, Eminem and an overweight Michael Jackson battled the FCC's efforts to blanket the airwaves with disco. Continuing another one of the night's recurring themes, both sides settled their differences with a dance to "Party Rock Anthem," led by Gordy relatives LMFAO.
The Army ROTC took a different tack. The program offered no description of the act; in its place was a warning detailing the potential hazards such as strobe lights and pyrotechnics. What followed was a relationship drama following a miner from a career-ruining leg accident at the Quincy Mine (where she was posing as a boy to work to support her family) to his time on the frontlines of World War I and back to their reunion in the Copper Country.
Between sets, comedian-musician Jason LeVasseur entertained the crowd with original songs and interpolations of Avril Lavigne and Sir Mix-A-Lot, among others.
"I'm in the mood for a good day/I'm in the mood for a pas-tay," went one lyric. (The Nashville-based singer may have reworked the line for Houghton.)
Final results will be announced Saturday night at the Winter Carnival awards banquet.
The crowd loved it. Eric Boyer, a third-year computer networking system administration major from Boyne City, Mich., thought LeVasseur was funny, as were the skits (at least the ones that were meant to be).
But Alpha Gamma Delta's state-trotting college tour was his favorite.
"I just thought it was the funniest one out of all of them, how they went to the different colleges," he said.
Audrey Hutton, a second-year geological engineering student, picked the Air Force ROTC's Wizard of Oz parody as her favorite. But most of them were good, she said.
"I loved all the different references to pop culture, or just even the fight between Northern and Michigan Tech and Wisconsin and Michigan," she said.
Did the Detroit native object to the frequent ribbing of the Motor City? Far from it.
"I agree with most of them," she said. "They were funny."
