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In support of polygamy

June 1, 2012
The Daily Mining Gazette

To the editor:

The recent trial of presidential-hopeful John Edwards brings up a now familiar list of sordid details going all the way back to Thomas Jefferson.

Why don't we just destigmatize these activities by legalizing polygamy? Surely it isn't anything less unnatural than gay marriage.

Future male politicians, I predict, will have a No. 1 frumpy wife with a law degree. She will tool around the country making speeches on his behalf, serving on corporate boards, returning home periodically with policy suggestions and campaign contributions, all the while plotting her own career moves.

The No. 2 wife will be a stay-at-home glamour-puss, who will greet him passionately when he comes home from work, listen sympathetically to problems at his office, have a hot meal waiting on the table, probably prepared by the cook under her supervision, and tell the chauffer where to drop off and pick up the kids.

Of course, women of power should have multiple husbands, but it doesn't seem to work that way. Madeleine Albright, Sonia Sotomayor and Mrs. Goldie Meyerson (AKA Golda Meir) all had husbands who ran away. Denis Thatcher, one of a kind, was a national joke in England. Sarah Palin is a different matter, but I suspect two husbands would start fighting.

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If a politician of the future picks up a new wife or two while on the campaign trail, no one will bat an eyelash. They might be strategically selected in swing states, I suppose. Proponents of polygamy can solicit help from gay-rights activists, the latter getting even with their religious opponents by pointing to numerous Biblical examples.


Pomona, Calif.



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