In the words of 43rd President George W. Bush, "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?"
And with both politics and education on the mind of our community with presidential elections and parent-teacher conferences recently, it's time to ask "Is our readers reading?"
This is the 2012 version of the annual Red Line Reader Comprehension Quiz, in which I test you to see how closely you've been reading the DMG sports section over the past month:
1. Which of the following trophies did the Houghton High School volleyball team not win this year? A. Gladstone "The Rock" Invitational, B. Copper Spike, C. Houghton Invitational, D. Suttons Bay Invitational.
2. What is the first name of the Nebraska-Omaha player who scored four goals in two games against the Huskies last weekend? A. Zeb, B. Zane, C. Zahn, D. Zelda.
3. Who caught the game-winning touchdown for L'Anse in the Division 8 pre-district game against Forest Park? A. No one, L'Anse lost; B. Jimmy Veker, C. Jordan Newland, D. Jonny Magaraggia.
4. The Michigan Tech women's soccer team defeated which school 3-0 in the quarterfinals of the GLIAC Tournament? A. Tiffin, B. Findlay, C. Saginaw Valley, D. Lake Superior St.
5. What was Milwaukee School of Engineering's national ranking in Division III men's hockey before it played at the Finlandia men last weekend? A. 3rd, B. 5th, C. 7th, D. 9th.
6. Who was the WestPAC volleyball player of the year for 2012? A. Lexie Rowe, Calumet, B. Ellen Twardzik, Calumet, C. Blaire Zenner, Houghton, D. Joey Carroll, Houghton.
7. Which individual scored the most points in the 2012 Copper Bowl? A. Ben Collaer, Houghton; B. Sam Bethancourt, Houghton; C. Ross Michaels, Hancock; D. Tanner Kearly, Hancock.
8. Where were the U.P. Finals in cross country held this year? A. Marquette, B. Kingsford, C. Munising, D. Gwinn
9. What was the halftime score of the Miner's Cup game this year? A. 34-0 Tech, B. 34-3 Tech, C. 0-0, D. 14-7 NMU.
10. Which team was ranked No. 1 in the small-school division in the last U.P. Sportswriters and Sportscasters Association football poll of the season? A. North Dickinson, B. St. Ignace, C. Forest Park, D. L'Anse.
11. Which name did I misspell of the four Lake Linden-Hubbell volleyball players listed below? A. Brittni Kisul, B. Mandy Perrault, C. Jaimie Middleton, D. Ciara Larson.
12. What happened during the girls race of the WestPAC cross country meet in Atlantic Mine Oct. 11? A. The Calumet girls lost, B. There was a tie for second, C. It sleeted, D. The leader collapsed on the course.
13. The Michigan Tech men's basketball team was picked by the media to win the GLIAC north Division. Who was picked to win the South? A. Wayne State, B. Ashland, C. Hillsdale, D. Findlay.
14. At what position was Calumet's Anders Bjorn named to the All-U.P. team? A. Offensive line, B. Guard, C. Linebacker, D. Defensive end.
15. Which brand of champagne did I not name drop in my column moaning about the Tigers not winning the World Series? A. Korbel, B. Veuve Clicquot, C. Cristal, D. Moet.
16. In Calumet's seven-game football win streak, which team came the closest (by margin of victory)?to beating the Copper Kings??A. Houghton, B. Hancock, C. L'Anse, D. Gladstone.
17. What is the guest team (that is, not Michigan, Michigan State or Michigan Tech) at this year's GLI??A. St. Cloud State, B. Denver, C. North Dakota, D. Western Michigan.
18. Which Canadian city is home to Tech volleyball freshman Sylvie Rokosh??A. Toronto, B. Regina, C. Calgary, D. Edmonton.
19. What is the day job of Lake Superior Performance Rally champion co-driver Cynthia Krolikowski??A. Doctor, B. Politician, C. Librarian, D. Housewife.
20. "Dynamo Don"?Michaelson starred at which school from 1967-70??A. Calumet, B. L'Anse, C. Hancock, D. Houghton.
Brandon Veale can be reached at email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/redveale.
1. D, 2. C, 3. D, 4. A, 5. C, 6. C, 7. A, 8. C, 9. B, 10. B, 11. B, 12. C, 13. D, 14. B, 15. A. 16. A. 17. D, 18. C, 19. C, 20. B