They tell me these days someone is making a list and checking it twice. I'm not that person, because far too often, I make a list, or a page or an article and only check it once. Sometimes less than that.
Because it's December, Christmas is less than three weeks away and I would much rather be on the nice list than the naughty one, it's time for my annual 'mea culpa' column.
If you figure there's probably 5,000 words or so in the sports section on a given day, then multiply that by six days a week and 52 weeks a year, that works out to 1.56 million words a year.
Adjusting for holidays and vacations and such, we'll round it down to 1.5 million.
If just a few of them are out of place, that matters to you and it matters to me. But it's a hard standard to meet.
So, of this year's 1.5 million, here are some of the more regrettable ones.
I'm sorry I seriously picked the Atlanta Falcons to win the NFC. Yeah, not just the South Division, the whole NFC.
I'm sorry the last two weeks have been an abysmal disaster for me in the Gridiron picks (but things might just be turning around). I've been focusing on my fantasy team, the Ed Hochuli Gun Show, Regular Season Champs of my local league.
I'm sorry to inflict upon you reports of my fantasy football team. But if I win playoffs, buckle up, because that's going to be a fun column to write.
I'm sorry I mistakenly (and more than once) referred to Brendan Jacques' North American Hockey League team as the Springfield (Mo.) Jr. Blues. They're based in Springfield, Ill.
I'm sorry I don't do "Calls From Home" as often as I should. It sometimes takes a while to compile, and when you come to think of it, there's been a lot of young folks from this area who are taking their show on the road. Don't worry, another one's on the way soon.
I regret downplaying the importance of the improperly-drawn three-point line at the Breslin Center in my recaps of the state Class C girls' basketball semifinals. In later discussions, I realized it made a difference.
I'm sorry that I wrote about the weather in just about every other column this year. Like you needed reminders about how bad this winter was (or is, or will be).
I'm not sorry about how, in my examination of this year's material, I quoted Vince Lombardi three different times without giving equal time to Wayne Fontes.
I'm sorry I'm having a lot of trouble remembering my mistakes - I'm sure there are many more than are recapped here.
This must mean either I'm not making as many, which is highly unlikely, or I'm doing better at having 'selective amnesia,' which is probably a good quality for anyone in this line of work to have.
For the typos, I'm sorry. For the stories that jumped to nowhere in particular, I'll try and do better the next time. Since we can't 'un-publish' our mistakes, that's the best I?can offer in compensation.
So, I'll ask for your forgiveness in advance, since I'm sure I'm not done messing stuff up any time soon.
Brandon Veale can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/redveale.