To the editor:

Isn’t it wonderful? After the November election, even more grasshoppers will get to dance, procreate indiscriminately and smoke dope. Imagine the fulfillment the hardy, brainy and objective ant will surely realize from experiencing the joy, the unselfish pleasure, of being of enduring service to these burgeoning worthies.

“Why should these, the chronically needy, or anyone else disposed to doing nothing but having fun be obliged to work?” the unselfish ant must ask himself.

Should there be any question in anyone’s mind as for whom to vote, dispense with your doubts right now. Hillary Clinton will ensure that the status quo will change heavily in favor of the needy. Shame on those who would impugn them and their stalwart championess. Remember, Hillary needs them to vote for her as much as they need her to sustain their carefree lifestyle. And also remember that kindness shown the unfortunate “trumps” achievement. Yes, kindness-kindness that oozes liberally from every square inch, every pore of that ample torso.

Bring them all in Hillary and her many admirers say – 500-fold. Come from Mexico and Syria. Come from Guatemala and Honduras. Who am I, who are you, to begrudge a helping hand to our beloved fellow man reaching out for sustenance and free college?

Just think! With expanded voter rolls once Hillary takes office, we’ll never again have to worry about the selfish taking medicine, food stamps and free college away from the true lights of the world – free college that every blessed beggar under the sun may study world politics and dance happily for us from now until the end of time-warming the cockles of the most stone-cold heart.

And while we beam approvingly at their delightful antics, we can then cheerfully strive to become even more humble and unassuming. Registrada democrata now and forever.

Like Boxer, the horse in George Orwell’s Animal Farm, we, the ants, must work all the harder to make sure this happens (sadly, poor Boxer after endless years of arduous toil died before his retirement came about, but happily, his remains were processed at a glue factory and put to good use.).

“Everyone get out and vote,” our illustrious politicians duly advise us. Quit your waffling. Don’t waste your vote on Donald Trump or Gary Johnson. Vote for Hillary Clinton.

Cheer up, my friends. Utopia awaits.

Gail Wickstrom

Newell, WV