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In the Catbird Seat/Joe Kirkish

The truth about cats and dogs

October 25, 2012
The Daily Mining Gazette

Remember the radio advertisement in which a dog explains to us what it's like to be burdened by a human (I have to take him on a leash everywhere; I think he'd get lost if he didn't have me guiding him)?

From the comments received as responses to our article including 10 commandments for cats and dogs, it would seem that there are far more lovers of those domesticated critters than ever imagined.

For those unfortunates who don't have a pet around, here's a possible explanation for so much affection spent on well-loved critters:

What's a dog? It's a furry little tyke that lies around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.

It can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but doesn't hear you when you're in the same room.

It can look dumb and lovable at the same time.

When you want to play, it wants to play.

When you want to be left alone, it wants to play.

It's great at begging.

It will love you forever if you rub its tummy.

It does disgusting things with its mouth and then tries to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: Dogs are little men in fur coats.

What's a cat? It's moody, totally unpredictable, rarely listens to you, does what it wants.

It whines when it's not happy.

When you want to play, it wants to be alone.

When you want to be alone, it wants to play.

It leaves hair everywhere.

It expects you to cater to its every whim.

It drives you nuts and costs an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: Cats are tiny women in little fur coats.

Comments about cats and dogs from famous or anonymous people:

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too. (Samuel Butler)

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job. (Franklin P. Jones)

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three biscuits in your pocket and the giving Fido only two. (Phil Pastoret)

One reason why a dog can be a comfort when you're blue is that he doesn't try to find out why. (Anon.)

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. (Max Eastman)

My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am. (Anon.)

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

With the exception of women, there is nothing on earth so agreeable or necessary to the comfort of a man as the dog. (Edward Jesse)

Cats are always elegant. (John Weitz)

If man could be crossed with a cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat. (Mark Twain)

You can look at a sleeping cat and be tense. (Jane Pauley)

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods, and cats have never forgotten this. (Anon.)

Since we are blessed with only one life, why not live it with a cat? (Robert Stearns)

Every dog has its day, but nights are reserved for cats. (Anon.)

And, finally, a cat's prayer:

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray this cushy life to keep.

I pray for toys that look like mice.

And sofa cushions, soft and nice.

I pray for gourmet kitty snacks.

And someone nice to scratch my back.

For window sills all warm and bright,

For shadows to explore at night.

I pray I'll always stay really cool

And keep the secret feline rule

To never tell a human that

The world is really ruled by CATS!

For a new kind of charity: check out the "Soup for Sneakers" lunch (plus silent auction and raffle) at the Finnish American Heritage Center - Saturday the 27th from noon to 1:30 p.m. Curious? Call 487-7377 for info.

Rotten Tomatoes averages: "Paranormal Activity 4," D+



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