Community plays a significant role in our lives, yet the concept seems to be losing importance in our society. We have immediate communications with the onset of the Internet, mobile phones, and numerous other devices. These devices and services, although swift and immediate, have made personal and face-to-face dealings with others dwindling in opportunity. We seem to have forgotten that we are members of a larger family in our village, town, or city. Humans communicate in more ways than text messages and email. We have many ways of saying things besides the written word, body language, a handshake, a wink, or a swift roll of the eyes. All of these are absent on social media or our omnipresent mobile phones.

We are social beings. We seek others, but the very technology that was to draw us closer together is the thing that keeps us at the end of phones, computers, and other devices. Culture plays a significant role in how we communicate and share with others. I blame technology and new communication forms for losing personal, face-to-face communication between humans. We seem to have grown away from each other and made the concept of the community seem old fashion.

I am Christian, and the essence of Christianity comes down to the two commandments that Jesus gave, Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Christians are commanded to live in a community and be part of that community. To look with compassion and care for those we live with. Sounds simple, but as the Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard wrote in his 1847 book Works of Love. It is a challenging and complex task. All major religions prescribe how to live in community, with similar ideas expressed in their sacred writings.

When the common threads of association and culture diverge, you get a problematic culture that is not shared. Complications between cultural understandings in human relations can upset what a community is and how it operates. Differing values produce two different ways of looking at the aim of community and its intertwined responsibilities.

When we fail to see our common bonds, secured by actual communications and experiences with others, we live in a cerebral virtual reality. The Internet produces its own culture. But it is not the culture of a true community–the loss of interactions between humans, from minor to significant, can create that becomes remote.

Years ago, I had a young patient, about nineteen or so. As the Chaplain, I was sent to talk with him. He was dying of fast-growing cancer. At first, he would not speak to me, and he would not even look at me. I tried my best to reach him. But all he wanted of me was to get more video games for him. His entire existence was lived on the Internet. His room was furnished with a large-screen TV, and two laptop computers were beside his bed. In time cancer took its toll taking him closer and closer to death. It was painful for me to watch his decline. Towards the end, when I entered the room, the noise of video guns and attending graphics was challenging to overcome. He told me he hated God and had spent his young life gaining expertise in various games. He would never be able to compete in a video game master tournament. He had a minimal existence. Death was nothing he had ever thought of. But as he realized he was dying, his anger raged. He hated God for what God was doing to him. I could understand this: being so young and having to deal with his limited life situation. I could do very little to comfort him.

Yes, this was an extreme case, but I wondered as he passed, how many young people find living on the Internet equal to actual living? Community is more than” likes “or a Go Fund Me page. Compassion is realized when we give of ourselves, one to one, face-to-face. Giving money to various causes is good, but not the true measure of our living in community. A community is a living body of care and concern for others. We are all connected, but not to a computer console or mobile phone.

The Copper Country several years ago had major flooding, and the community’s response was real. People came to help their neighbors. People came from away to help us. Compassion and care have a human face. The Internet has its place, but we must understand it has limits. We are all connected, and we need each other in real-time. We are human beings and share in the dignity of that humanity. Humanity operates the best face-to-face, from one person to another.

Kathleen Carlton Johnson, Ph.D., hospice chaplain, may be reached at faithtoday2023@gmail.com.