I will celebrate Mother’s Day as a mother of four who worked while my children were young. I know how complex and challenging motherhood can be for most women today. One of the things I have noticed in my chaplaincy is that mothers in their last days in hospice rarely complain about missed opportunities because of their children. For example, they never tell me they are upset about losing the chance to write the book they wanted because they were mothers. They are not despairing because they never became the bank president. What seems to bring them great distress is when their children do not come to visit them. Their depth of despair and grief tells you how mothers measure their life. Mostly they tell me about the wonderful things and events taking place in their families. Their daughter, who has three children, and her grandson, who is graduating from medical school, make her beam with pride.

One of the most incredible days of my life was when I had my firstborn. When they handed me my son, I was overwhelmed with joy, no beyond joy, awe. I had participated in the creation of another human being. The small bundle was complete, with tiny hands and toes. It truly is a mother’s moment. Yes, Dad was there, but this little person had been with my every move for nine months.

A mother is a very special person in our lives. Sometimes we do not know this until we have grown ourselves. I recall meeting my mother after the birth of my first child, and all I could do was look at her and hold her very close to me with tears streaming down my face. There is a sacred bond between mother and child. It amazes me that even in nature, the mother bears or ducks; how they care for and protect their young.

I do not want to get into the argument of whether women who have children should work outside of the home. Women today can make choices as to what they want to do. Marriage is a full-time job, and children fill your days with a million things that often get in the way of full-time employment. I realize a family has financial needs, and often mother ends up in the workplace by necessity. Can mother work? Yes, but it takes a lot of organization, planning and grit. Mothers today find themselves caring for children and working. A stressful juggling act and, at times, an exhausting life for a mother. It is not easy. One of the things I keenly recall is the guilt of leaving a sick child to go to work. Under the best conditions, it affected my mental attitude the entire day.

Mothers wear many hats: counselor, nurse, recreation director, spiritual guide, behavior moderator, protector, cook, supply officer, sanitation expert, household manager and of course, wife. A basket full of responsibilities is always present, demanding roles with different skills necessary to complete the job. Yet, above all these duties, Mother is the place we all begin. We all share a long nine-month history, a special bond, a connection that ties us together for life.

Every human on the planet has a mother. That alone should make us realize how important a mother is. However, mothers also belong to a sisterhood the globe over. Every woman who becomes a mother shares in her children’s physical and social upbringing. Regardless of where they live, what religion they profess, or what their financial circumstances are. Motherhood and bringing children into the world are the same for every woman. Recently, I was at an airport waiting for a plane. I sat beside a woman from the Philippines, but language was a barrier to our conversation. Finally, she brought out her phone. I did the same, and we both exchanged pictures of our families. We had a wonderful time sharing.

Motherhood in our current industrial culture has changed in many ways. The definition of mother has shifted from primary caregiver to the concerns of managing children and jobs. On the surface, nothing speaks of the complexity and stress this can bring to a working mother. But it is a fact that many women today work outside of the home. One thing that has not changed for mothers is that a child’s first place to learn love is from their mother. This fact alone can profoundly set the future for her children. No matter how old or where we go, we take our mother with us socially, spiritually, and in the knowledge of her care. My mother passed away some years ago, yet I hear her in my heart daily. What she used to say, what she would recommend, her cooking hints and articulate social comments. She is always with me.

Mothers are the gateway into reality. They are unique to each one of us. God bless them; God bless them all.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Kathleen Carlton Johnson, Ph.D., hospice chaplain, may be reached at faithtoday2023@gmail.com.