Dear Annie: I’d like an impartial opinion on something that’s been bothering me for a few months now. My husband recently turned 50, and as I wanted to mark this milestone, I decided to throw a small surprise party. I texted our closest friends, asking what dates would work best for them. I gave three Saturday dates that would be a possibility for me to host, one being two days after my husband’s birthday.

One of our friends’ wife, whose husband is a close friend from my husband’s childhood, responded that she wasn’t available on any Saturday, only Friday evenings. Her milestone birthday was also three days after my husband’s. She explained that she understood that I work and am tired on Fridays but that Saturday simply wouldn’t work, as she was a cheer coach for her daughter’s recreational cheer team, which had games on Saturday. She also reminded me that it was her birthday weekend.

I explained that Friday wasn’t an option for me, there was too much preparation and I would have to have the party without their attendance. I suggested the four of us get together to celebrate with a dinner out. I also asked that they stop by our house for drinks and cake later that evening, after the game.

She never responded and has not spoken to me in months. Should I have just held the party on the Friday to please all of my husband’s friends and keep the peace? Your opinion is very much appreciated. — Feeling Sad to Lose a Friend

Dear Feeling Sad: To be blunt, it sounds like this “friend” needs to grow up. The fact that you did not reschedule your husband’s birthday party to accommodate her busy schedule — after already bending over backward to try to find a date that works for everyone — is a childish way to lose a friend.

But to give her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps she simply couldn’t make the party, got busy with life and forgot to respond to you. Invite her and her husband over for drinks and dessert to jointly celebrate both her and your husband’s birthdays, even if they were several months ago. Let her know her presence is valued; tell her you want her there because you enjoy her company.

If she has any residual hurt feelings over the birthday party debacle, this gesture should remedy them. If she doesn’t, then she’ll simply appreciate the friendly invitation. If that’s not the case, however, if she still harbors resentment, then that’s her problem and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Dear Annie: Your answers are always so thoughtful and helpful. You caution people to not act rashly in condemning others, and I appreciate that.

I feel, though, that you may have missed something from “Confused by Wife’s Priorities,” who found it strange that his wife was rifling through their daughter’s possessions.

If the wife’s behavior was completely out of the ordinary and if she was not able to be reasoned with or redirected, she should see her family physician for a mental evaluation. These can be signs of Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. Though there are few, there are treatments now for dementia disorders, and the earlier they are started, the better. — Health Care Worker Who Sees It Every Day

Dear Health Care Worker: Thank you for your letter. I agree; it’s always best to consult a professional if your loved one’s behavior is abnormal and irrational. Better safe than sorry.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at creators.com.