Dear Annie: My parents have been in a rocky marriage for as long as I can remember. I’m 16, and my brother is 20 and away at college. My dad has left and come back a few times, and now he’s telling my mom again that he’s done and wants her to move out. She’s heartbroken, and it’s really hard to watch. I’ve seen her cry more in the past few weeks than in my whole life.

I don’t really know how to talk to my dad about it. He says he still loves us but doesn’t want to be with Mom anymore. I feel stuck in the middle. How am I supposed to handle this without picking sides or breaking down myself? — Torn Teen

Dear Torn Teen: It’s hard to watch people you love hurt each other — and I’m sure it’s even more difficult for you now that your brother is out of the house. There’s no road map to marriage — or divorce — so you need to make sure you’re protecting your peace while your parents figure out theirs.

The best thing you can do right now is be honest about how this is affecting you. Talk to your dad and let him know that while you understand he may not want to be with your mom anymore, you still need him to show up for you. Support your mom with love, not by taking on her pain as your own.

If possible, find someone to talk to — a counselor, a teacher or another trusted adult.

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been together for over 22 years. We have two beautiful, almost grown children. When my son (20) was two weeks old, my husband told me he had met someone else. He blamed it on me not being intimate during my pregnancy (I had a high-risk pregnancy and the doctor advised me not to). I just had my son and didn’t want to leave my family. So I stayed and tried to work it out. During my pregnancy with my daughter (16), I had doubts and was plagued with depression and was miserable, but we got through it, mainly because I got help from a therapist.

When my son was 10 and daughter was 7, my husband declared he had found someone else and left. This lasted for a few months before he came back and we worked it out. A month ago, he tells me he’s done trying, he’s never been happy and will never be happy with me, and he wants me to leave because it’s his home.

I am devastated and tired of the yo-yo. He is 40, not a teenager. WE have lived in this house for 20 years and made it home. He makes a significant amount more money than me, and I cannot financially do it alone. I have no family. I am an only child of only children, and my parents have both passed. I have made his family mine, and we have all the same friends. How do I start? What can I do? What about holidays? I will now be alone for everything. Do I try to save my marriage again or just say enough? Please help. — My Husband Wants Out

Dear Husband Wants Out: The only thing more devastating than leaving a marriage is staying in a marriage that doesn’t make you happy. You have every right to feel heartbroken, but leaving your husband means that you’re opening a door for a partner who is reliable, trustworthy and supportive.

You don’t have to figure everything out at once. Meet with a lawyer to understand your rights, especially if you’ve lived in that house for 20 years. Reach out to a counselor, not just for emotional support but for help creating a plan. Rebuilding will be hard, especially without family nearby, but you’re not truly alone; support systems can be built, and peace is possible.

Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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