Dear Annie: I have a cousin whom I’ve had a cherished lifelong friendship with. We meet several times a year halfway between our homes and sometimes at each other’s homes with our families. We often would bring each other a little something, such as vegetables from our garden or a loaf of bread from our favorite bakery.

The last time she visited my home, I asked her to bring a salad. She brought two salads, a fruit platter, a gift bag with several seasonal home decorations, a set of hand towels and a decanter of fancy hand soap. It was overwhelming.

Before our next meeting, I asked her to please not bring me anything and that I would not accept it if she did. I stated that she is the only gift I need and that she is enough.

She showed up with a gift bag, and when she started handing me things from it, I repeated my request. She pulled the first gift out of my hand and an uncomfortable silence ensued, and I repeated my request.

She eventually stormed out of the restaurant, announcing quite loudly that she was very hurt. I called after her to no avail. I eventually caught up with her in the parking lot, and she would not speak to me. Finally, she rolled down her window and again I repeated that I asked her not to bring gifts … she swore at my words and drove off.

I have emailed her many times saying we just need to accept our differences on this matter and move on. I tried in several emails to explain that she is the only gift I need and that the gifting had become uncomfortable to me.

It has been over a month, and her only response to several tries on my part is that she sees what happened differently, has nothing to say and does not want to talk.bI think her behavior is childish and self-centered. Any suggestions on what to do? — Caring Cousin

Dear Caring Cousin: You two definitely show your affection differently — a reality that you seem to have acknowledged and made peace with. Let your cousin know that you understand why her feelings were hurt and that you apologize for rejecting the way she expresses her love. Though you have every right to set your boundaries when it comes to gifts, an apology can serve as an olive branch, letting her know you are willing to put aside small differences and swallow your pride for the sake of your relationship.

If she still refuses to engage with you, there isn’t much more you can do. Give her some time, and she should eventually realize that a gift-giving dispute is no good reason to throw away a lifelong friendship.

Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM