Dear Annie: I had my kids in my early 20s, which felt right for me and my husband at the time. We live in New York City, where most parents we meet had children much later in life. At school events, playdates or birthday parties, we’re often the youngest parents in the room — sometimes by more than a decade.

While everyone is polite, I can’t help but feel like an outsider. The other moms and dads seem to be in a different life stage, with more established careers, bigger homes and conversations that often make me feel inexperienced or just … out of place. I’m proud of my family and the choices we’ve made, but it’s isolating when I can’t find anyone who truly relates to where we are in life.

Is it possible to bridge the gap when you’re parenting in a totally different season of life than your peers? Or do I need to find my own circle somewhere else? — Younger Mom Feeling Out of Sync

Dear Younger Mom: You are not alone in feeling out of step with other parents. In many urban areas like New York City, it is common for people to start families later in life. When you are the youngest at school functions or playdates, it can feel like everyone else is a few chapters ahead — more established in their careers, more financially secure or simply in a different social rhythm. That can be isolating, even when no one means to make you feel left out.

But I hope you do not overlook the quiet strengths that come with starting a family young. You likely have more energy to chase after little ones, fewer years between you and your children when they reach adulthood, and more flexibility to grow with your family. You may also reach certain parenting milestones earlier, like having more freedom in your 40s when others are just beginning the school age years.

While it is true you might not instantly click with every older parent, give them a chance. Connection often grows through shared experience, not just similar resumes or life timelines. At the same time, there is nothing wrong with seeking friendships with other younger parents who can relate more closely to your journey. Parenting can be lonely at any age, so finding your tribe — whatever that looks like — matters more than fitting in.

Hold your head high. You did not take the wrong path; you just took a different one. And there is a lot to be said for starting early, growing together and still having time to rediscover yourself down the road.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM