Dear Annie: I recently reconnected with a former co-worker I was very close to — so close that many of our co-workers once thought we were dating, which was a big no! When we ran into each other, we shared a longer than normal embrace, and she gave me a peck on the cheek. I did the same. We agreed to a dinner date that upcoming weekend.

When the weekend arrived, I picked her up, and she greeted me with a kiss on the lips, which caught me totally by surprise. She said, “As long as we’ve been friends, despite everything we’ve done together, I didn’t think we’d ever kissed on the lips. I wanted to cross that off the list,” then apologized. I didn’t say a word and just smiled back.

Later, walking through the restaurant’s dimly lit parking lot, she grabbed a hold of my hand because she said she didn’t feel safe. She didn’t release her grip until we were seated in the restaurant. She then looked at me and said, “Item two crossed off my list.”

Since that night, our relationship has progressed to the point where we hold hands everywhere we go, alternate sleeping at each other’s places and recently started sleeping naked together. We’ve discussed having sex and have agreed to hold off for now because we’ve both been so stressed at work.

My question is, are we both ready to go all in on a serious relationship, or are we both content as cuddle buddies? Any input would be greatly appreciated. — Wondering if I Should Go All In, In Virginia

Dear Wondering: You two have already crossed several emotional and physical milestones, so it would seem things have moved past casual. But the only people to truly know the answer to your question are you and this woman.

You’ve known each other for years and clearly share chemistry — two strong components for a solid, long-lasting relationship, if that’s what you want. The best way to know where you stand is to ask. Think seriously about what your romantic intentions are, share them with this woman, and then allow her the chance to do the same. Take things at your pace and with whatever label feels right to you both.

What matters most is that you’re both moving in the same direction, wherever that may lead.

Dear Annie: My husband and I wonder why good friends and family will say over and over again, “I’ll have you over for dinner,” but never do. We like to entertain and don’t expect anything in return. But it’s disheartening when people repeat the offer, even text you, but never follow through. We feel disrespected.

My husband feels these are just filler words at the end of an evening together. I feel like people could just say, “Thanks for the lovely evening,” instead. It’s almost like mental abuse in a sense to keep doing that to someone.

There are so many excuses today for everything — “I forgot,” or “I’m busy.” It’s hard to maintain good relationships when everyone is so self-centered. Any advice? Thank you for what you do. — Disappointed in Ohio

Dear Disappointed: Your husband may be right. Most people say things of the sort to be polite and often do so thoughtlessly, no harm intended. Still, it stings when it feels like your hospitality and generosity aren’t being reciprocated.

The key is to start thinking of these comments as soft pleasantries instead of hard promises. The next time you leave a social soiree, tell your friends, “We’d love to do this again — just let us know when works for you.” Then the ball is in their court. Those who are just as serious about initiating as you and your husband will.

It’s not abuse, but it does hurt and grows tiring to always be the one making the effort. Focus your energy on the friends who do show up and follow through. That’s where your time is best spent.

Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM