Dear Annie: My fiance, “Mark,” and I are getting married in six months, and there’s one issue I can’t shake. His best friend, “Tyler,” makes me uncomfortable. Tyler has a history of cheating, drinking too much, and making offhand comments that cross the line — especially toward women.

At Mark’s bachelor party planning dinner, Tyler joked that he was in charge of “making sure Mark has one last wild night,” and when I said I didn’t like the sound of that, he laughed and told me to “relax.”

I’ve told Mark I don’t trust Tyler’s influence. He brushed it off, saying Tyler’s “an idiot but he’s harmless” and that he would never actually do anything to mess up our relationship. Still, I can’t help but feel uneasy. It’s like I’m expected to ignore my instincts to keep the peace.

I’m not asking Mark to end the friendship, but I do want some boundaries — especially around the bachelor party. Am I being too controlling? Or is it fair to ask for limits when someone close to my partner disrespects me? — Not Laughing It Off

Dear Not Laughing It Off: It’s not controlling to want a husband who stands up for you and your relationship.

Mark is allowed to have “idiot” friends, so long as he’s not impressionable to their influence. Tell Mark not just that Tyler is untrustworthy but that he makes you legitimately uncomfortable. Tell him what you need to feel secure, not just about the bachelor party but about his friendship with Tyler in general. If he brushes it off again, the problem isn’t Tyler. It’s that you’re not being heard.

Dear Annie: I’ve worked at a boutique interior design firm for four years, and until recently, I loved my job. But two months ago, the owner hired her niece, “Claire,” fresh out of college, with zero experience. Since then, I’ve been sidelined on projects I used to lead, and Claire — who doesn’t know the first thing about client management — is suddenly being introduced as a “rising star.”

I’ve spent years building relationships with clients and vendors, often working late and covering when we were short-staffed. Now I’m watching Claire get praise for things I quietly handled behind the scenes. When I brought it up to my boss, she said Claire brings “fresh energy” and that I shouldn’t feel threatened.

But I do feel threatened. I’m starting to wonder if there’s even room for me to grow here anymore, or if I’m just a stepping stone for family favorites. I don’t want to stick around if I’m being pushed aside.

How do I know if it’s time to move on — or if I just need a thicker skin? — Fading Into the Wallpaper

Dear Fading: There’s nothing more demoralizing than watching someone else get credit for your work. Identify some concrete asks — projects you want to lead, clients you want to work with, even salary goals — and then share your ideas with your boss. Make it clear you care about growing with the company and want to build a path forward together.

This shows you’re cooperative but also focused — and unwilling to sit on the sidelines. If she brushes off your asks, then you might have your answer.

Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM