Dear Annie: My husband works in the family business alongside his father, his brother-in-law, and sometimes his brother and cousin. He is a generous, hardworking man who would give the shirt off his back for his family. Unfortunately, they seem to take advantage of that generosity.

Despite the pressures of the business, we make it a priority to enjoy our life together. On Sundays, we take our children out to eat, and we plan family activities and vacations with just the four of us. These outings are special to us and give our kids wonderful memories.

The problem is, his family makes us feel guilty for having these moments without them. They say things like, “You go out to eat every weekend,” as if it’s wrong that we don’t invite them along. Even their young children have been drawn into it, asking our kids where we went and saying, “I wish we could go, too.” It feels like they are using guilt and envy to undermine our choices.

The truth is, we live within our means. We pay our bills, budget carefully and choose to spend what’s left on making memories with our kids. But the constant comments and guilt-tripping are starting to get under my husband’s skin, too.

I’ve kept quiet so far, but I’m wondering — what is the best way to respond when family tries to make us feel selfish or guilty for putting our little family first? — Frustrated but Firm

Dear Frustrated but Firm: Stop feeling guilty for living your life. Parents are entitled to private family time without the whole clan tagging along. The next time someone complains, smile and say: “We like to keep Sundays just for us.” Period. No excuses, no guilt.

If they keep pushing, that’s their problem, not yours. You’re raising your kids, not running a restaurant.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from the grandparent who felt pushed away by her daughters-in-law. My situation is even harder; it’s my own daughter who is shutting us out.

My son-in-law, her ex-husband, is the one who allows us to see our three granddaughters. Since their divorce, my daughter has been living with a man who drinks heavily and uses drugs. Sadly, she has turned against me and my husband, resenting us for speaking the truth about her choices.

What hurts most is that this man verbally and emotionally abuses my granddaughters, and they often say they want to stay with us instead. My daughter resists this, and our relationship has become a constant battle.

We raised her with love, support and every opportunity. She was a bright student with a 4.0 GPA, and we never mistreated her. Yet today she shows us no respect and treats us with the same contempt as the man she lives with. It breaks our hearts, and I would not wish this pain on anyone.

What do you think we should do? — Heartbroken Grandparents

Dear Heartbroken Grandparents: My heart aches for you. Few things cut deeper than watching a child you raised with love make painful choices — and then having to stand by while your grandchildren are caught in the middle.

But here’s the truth: You cannot change your daughter or rescue her from her current path. What you can do is stay steady and loving for your granddaughters. Be the safe place they know they can count on. Avoid harsh confrontations with your daughter, as they may only push her further away and limit your access to the children.

If you truly believe the children are being abused, it’s important to contact child protective services or another authority. I know that’s frightening, but protecting your granddaughters’ well-being must come first.

Beyond that, consider family counseling or a support group for grandparents in similar situations. You need a place to grieve, to vent and to gather strength.

You’ve given your daughter every opportunity in life — but now, the best gift you can give is stability and unconditional love for her children. Sometimes that love speaks loudest in patience, boundaries and courage.

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