Dear Annie: My sister “Claire” and I have always been close, but things have shifted since she had her first baby eight months ago. I understand that motherhood changes things, but lately I feel like I’ve been pushed to the sidelines. Every conversation revolves around the baby, and when I try to bring up anything going on in my life, she either tunes out or cuts the conversation short because the baby “needs her.”

I’ve tried to be supportive — babysitting, dropping off meals — but it’s starting to feel one-sided. I miss our friendship, and I don’t know how to talk to her about this without sounding selfish or like I don’t understand how hard this phase is for her.

Do I need to just wait this out and hope things go back to normal? — Missing My Sister

Dear Missing My Sister: Claire probably misses you, too — she just may not have the capacity to show it right now. New motherhood is all-consuming, and while this season feels long, it is temporary. Your bond isn’t gone, just under strain from a major life shift.

Keep showing up for her, but also give space for when she’s ready to reconnect more fully. When things settle, gently suggest some one-on-one time. Your relationship may look different moving forward, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be just as meaningful.

Dear Annie: I’ve been friends with “Lena” since college, and we’ve always had a close, supportive relationship. But lately, I’ve noticed a pattern that’s starting to wear on me. Every time something good happens in my life — a promotion, a trip, even small wins — she either downplays it or changes the subject back to her own struggles.

I know she’s been going through a tough time with her job and her mental health, and I’ve tried to be a good listener. But I’m starting to feel like there’s no room for my joy around her. I’ve pulled back a bit, and now she’s asking why I’m being distant. I don’t want to hurt her, but I also don’t feel like I can keep shrinking myself to protect her feelings.

How do I bring this up in a way that’s honest but kind? And what if she can’t handle hearing it? — Feeling Small Around My Friend

Dear Feeling Small: Good friends celebrate each other’s wins. It’s OK for her to feel jealous and still be happy for you; those feelings can exist at the same time. The key is being able to hold space for both, without shutting you down.

When you talk to Lena, be direct but gentle. Try: “I’ve noticed when I share good news, it often gets brushed aside. It’s been hard feeling like I can’t be fully myself with you.”

She may be surprised, even defensive — but you’ll be giving her clarity and opportunity to redeem your friendship.

Supporting Lena does not mean muting your own life.

Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM