Dear Annie: My sister, “Erin,” has always been a bit dramatic, but lately it feels like she’s manufacturing chaos. She’s going through a divorce, and while I understand that’s difficult, she’s started calling me multiple times a day just to vent — about her ex, the kids, her job, our parents, her neighbor’s barking dog — anything and everything. I’ve tried to be supportive, but it’s exhausting. I work full-time, have two young kids and, honestly, I dread seeing her name pop up on my phone.

Last week, I let one of her calls go to voicemail and she texted me five times in an hour asking why I wasn’t picking up. When I finally called her back, she accused me of not caring about her. I told her I needed some space, and now she’s barely speaking to me.

I feel like I’m being forced into the role of emotional caretaker, and I don’t know how to set limits without causing more damage to our relationship. How do I support my sister without sacrificing my peace of mind? — Stretched Thin in Spokane

Dear Stretched Thin: You need to let go of your fear of letting Erin down; she won’t be satisfied with anything less than 100% of your attention, and unless you’re prepared to keep giving her that, she’s going to try to paint you as the bad guy.

Tell Erin, kindly but firmly, that you care about her but you’ve got a full plate and can’t be on-call. Suggest she speak with a professional who’s equipped to help. If she sulks, let her. She’s allowed to be upset, and you’re allowed to have boundaries.

Dear Annie: My younger sister, “Melanie,” has always had a tendency to stir up drama, but lately it’s been exhausting. I recently got engaged, and instead of being happy for me, she made it about her. She said she was “grieving” the fact that our relationship would change and accused me of abandoning her. At first, I felt really bad, but she kept making passive-aggressive comments — telling mutual friends I was “too busy for family now” and pouting during a dinner with our parents when we were discussing wedding plans.

She’s 27, lives on her own and has a solid job, so it’s not like she’s helpless or isolated. I’m trying to be understanding, but I don’t know why she can’t just be happy for me! My fiance has started noticing how tense I get after spending time with Melanie. How do I handle this without just avoiding her altogether? — Tired of the Guilt Trips

Dear Tired: You’re not the first bride whose engagement has stirred up mixed emotions. Your sister might be feeling left out, jealous or just afraid things are changing. Whatever her reason, it’s no excuse to make this engagement about her. Let her know you care about your relationship but you won’t be guilted into dimming your joy. Say your piece once, kindly but clearly, and then let her sit with it.

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