Dear Annie: I am 67 years old and have been married for 43 years to a man who treats me well, has been a fair father and has tried his best to be a good husband. My problem is that although I worked for 30 years as a registered nurse and contributed more than half to our retirement (we have a very comfortable retirement), my very old home is still not complete (we’ve lived here for 40 years). He refuses to allow me to hire a handyman, and although he has done some work on the house, he tends to stop work in the middle of the project. I would like to live in a comfortable, safe home for the remainder of my life. I cannot hire someone on my own … He would have a fit that could last for months, if not years.

I know I should appreciate having a home at all, but his uncaring attitude makes me feel like I am not worthy to live in a nice home. What should I do? — Living in Chaos

Dear Living in Chaos: Your requests are beyond reasonable — and he should be able to see them that way, too, as long as you frame them the right way.

Start by praising his skills and his willingness to take on house projects. Then, communicate your deadlines: “I need X project finished before guests come for Christmas; do you want to do that, or should I call the handyman?” This way, your reliance on outside help is tied to logistics — not the quality of his work.

Dear Annie: My son, “Derek,” recently got engaged to a woman I barely know named “Monica.” They’ve been dating for a little over a year, and while she’s always polite, she’s also distant and doesn’t seem interested in getting to know our family. She rarely attends gatherings and when she does, she spends most of the time on her phone or sitting quietly next to Derek.

What’s really bothering me is that Derek seems to be pulling away, too. He used to call me at least once a week, but now I only hear from him if I reach out first. When I try to ask about the wedding or offer help, he gives short answers or tells me they haven’t decided anything yet.

I’m trying not to overstep, but it’s hard not to take this personally. I’m worried that I’m losing my son and that I’ll have no real relationship with his future wife. I don’t want to start their marriage with tension, but I’m hurt and don’t know how to bridge the gap without pushing them away further. — Left Out Mom

Dear Left Out Mom: To get off on the right foot, you’ll need to give Monica the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she’s shy. Maybe she’s intimidated. Maybe she’s just not sure how to break the ice with your family.

Tell Derek that you really want to get to know your soon-to-be daughter-in-law. Invite her out for a manicure or lunch. Sometimes, all it takes is for one person to initiate. From there, trust that your son will notice, and hopefully, he’ll begin to open up again, too.

Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM