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Dear Annie

Stuck in a Lopsided Friendship

Dear Annie: I’ve been close friends with “Tina” for over 25 years. We’ve raised our kids together and supported each other through losses and hard times. But in the last year or so, things have shifted. Tina has become increasingly self-absorbed; every conversation circles back to her. If I share something I’m struggling with, she’ll respond with a quick comment and then pivot right back to her job, her family drama or her latest accomplishment.

The last straw was when I told her my brother was in the hospital. She said, “Oh no!” — then launched into a story about how her sister was once misdiagnosed in an ER and how stressful (SET ITAL)that(END ITAL) was. No follow-up. No asking how I’m doing.

Do I say something? Or is it better to let this naturally drift apart? Tired of One-Way Friendship

Dear Tired: Step one would be saying something. She may be so wrapped up in her own problems that she’s not even aware of how she’s falling behind as a friend. This could be the wake-up call she needs to be the friend that you once valued so much.

If that doesn’t work, then drifting apart is OK. Not every relationship lasts forever, and it’s better to let go of a friendship that’s run its course than to cling onto a friendship that disappoints you time and again.

Dear Annie: My close friend, “Shelby,” has a large golden retriever, “Felix,” who is completely untrained. Recently, she bought him a service dog vest, even though he isn’t ADA trained and doesn’t serve a disabled person. She uses this vest to let Felix roam off-leash in areas with leash laws, bring him into shops, restaurants and parks where dogs aren’t allowed, and even take him in-cabin on flights.

I believe this is unethical and have told Shelby why it makes me uncomfortable. Felix frequently knocks over kids, chases animals and makes a mess in public shops. I’ve offered to pay for basic training for Felix, but Shelby brushed it off. Is there anything I can do to get through to her? — Frustrated With Her Furbaby

Dear Frustrated: Shelby isn’t just bending the rules; she’s taking advantage of privileges meant for people who actually need them. You’re absolutely right — this is unethical, dangerous and, depending on your state, illegal. Many states enforce fines, and in some cases even jail time, for passing off a pet as a service animal.

You’ve already told her how it makes you feel and generously offered to help fix Felix’s behavior with proper training. Now it’s time to stop enabling her. Excuse yourself from outings when she brings out the “service vest” and let businesses or bystanders deal with the fallout. It may take Shelby getting turned away, reported to authorities or slapped with a misdemeanor before she finally gets the wake-up call she’s ignored so far.

Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM

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