Dear Annie: I’m 28 and recently moved back in with my parents to save money after a tough breakup. I’m grateful for the support, but I’m having trouble with my mom’s behavior. She constantly comments on my weight, how I dress, or how much I’m on my phone. Last week, she said I’d have “better luck” if I wore makeup and “put myself out there more.”

I’ve tried brushing it off, but it’s starting to wear me down. I’ve asked her, gently, to stop making comments about my appearance, but she just laughs and says she’s “trying to help.” My dad usually stays quiet or tells me not to be so sensitive.

I really want to move out, but I can’t afford to just yet. Do I have to suffer through the next few months or is there a way to get through to her? — Tired Daughter in Transition

Dear Tired Daughter: Probably a little bit of both. Mothers offering unsolicited opinions is a tale as old as time, but I’m guessing she’d back off if you shut it down firmly: “Please don’t comment on my appearance. It’s not helpful.”

She may never change, but you can control how much you engage.

Dear Annie: Our dear neighbors recently lost their twins. They were stillborn, and it was such a tragedy. So awful.

I sent a sizable memorial to an organization and sent the acknowledgment to our neighbors with our deepest sympathy. It has been close to a year and we have not received an acknowledgment of said memorial. I’m at a loss as to whether to say something like, “Our memorial must have gotten lost in the mail, but this is what we did,” or just not say anything.

I don’t want them to think we thought so little of their tragic loss that we did nothing, but then if I do say something, will it just bring up their horrible loss again?

A similar but not as sensitive issue is when my husband and I send checks for weddings, anniversaries or birthdays and receive no acknowledgments. We know they’ve been cashed as I reconcile our bank statement monthly, but we get no thank yous in return.

What do we do? I would love your thoughts and your readers’, too. Thank you. — At a Loss

Dear At a Loss: When it comes to loss, normal etiquette goes out the window. Your neighbors’ silence isn’t a reflection of their gratitude but a reflection of their grief.

Don’t mention the donation to them. I’m sure they remember and appreciate your thoughtfulness even if they haven’t had the emotional capacity to say so. If you want peace of mind, contact the organization directly to confirm your gift was received. Continue to show your neighbors quiet, steady compassion. I’m sure it means more to them than you’ll ever know.

Your second issue is totally different. A thank-you note takes so little time to put together but it goes such a long way. Once you’ve given a gift, let go of any expectations about what will happen next. If it still gets under your skin, stop gifting to those who can’t be bothered to show they appreciate it.

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