Dear Annie: My 12-year-old son has always loved playing soccer. He is not the most talented kid on the field, but he works hard, listens to feedback and truly enjoys being part of a team. Unfortunately, his new coach seems to have taken all the joy out of it.

From the first practice, this coach has been harsh, sarcastic and impatient. He yells at the kids for small mistakes, plays favorites and benches others for reasons that do not make sense. My son has gone from running out the door with excitement to dragging his feet and saying he does not want to play anymore. It breaks my heart because sports used to be such a positive outlet for him.

I have considered saying something to the coach, but I do not want to be that parent or make things harder for my son. Some of the other parents feel the same way, but everyone is afraid to speak up. I want my child to learn resilience, but I also do not want him to think that being belittled is part of growing up.

Should I step in, talk to the coach, or just let my son quit and find another team? I want to teach him the right lessons about standing up for himself, about respect and about not giving up too easily. But I am not sure what the right thing is anymore. — Discouraged Soccer Mom

Dear Discouraged: You are right to be concerned. When a kid who used to sprint out the door for practice suddenly dreads going, that is not just a phase. That is a signal. Coaches can make or break a child’s love for a sport. The good ones build kids up. The bad ones tear them down and call it motivation.

You have already done what a good parent should do. You have noticed, you have listened, and you have thought carefully before reacting. I suggest starting with a calm, private talk with the coach. Don’t make any accusations about his behavior. Just be open to having an honest conversation. Say something along the lines of, “My son has been feeling discouraged, and I would love to see him regain his confidence.” Sometimes that is all it takes for an adult to realize how their words are landing.

But if nothing changes, it is perfectly fine to move him to another team. Quitting a toxic situation is not giving up. It is protecting what matters. Sports are supposed to teach kids teamwork, respect and resilience, not anxiety or self-doubt.

Your son will remember far more about how this experience made him feel than whether he won any trophies this season. So trust your gut. You are not being “that” mom. You are being the kind of mom who knows that the real win is raising a child who still loves the game and himself.

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