Dear Annie: I love my sister dearly, but she’s one of those people who always has to top everyone’s story. If I mention I had a bad cold, she’ll say hers turned into pneumonia. If I get a compliment at work, she’ll mention a big promotion she got years ago. Family gatherings have become exhausting because every conversation somehow circles back to her achievements or hardships.

I’ve tried steering the conversation to other topics, but she always finds a way to bring it back to herself. I don’t want to start a fight or hurt her feelings, but I’m tired of walking away from every visit feeling small. How can I keep my patience, and maybe get her to see what she’s doing? — Out-Talked

Dear Out-Talked: The trick here isn’t to win but to step out of the game. Next time she tries to one-up you, just smile and say something neutral such as, “Good for you.”

You can’t change her habits, but you can refuse to be her audience.

Dear Annie: I’ve read many letters from older women who’ve lost friends to illness, death or simply a change in circumstances. These women say they often can’t find the social support they once had. I’m not trying to spread the word, exactly, as we have so many members already, but there is one solution I know to work that I’ve noticed is never mentioned: Facebook groups.

About a decade ago, I started two private Facebook groups for women over 50 who’ve reached the no-filter stage of life. One is not political, and the other is entirely politics.

Here’s what’s happened. Women from the U.S., Norway, Slovenia, Mexico, France, Switzerland, Romania, Italy and England have become real friends. They’ve invited others to join the Facebook groups, and many have met in real life. Some join because they want more social interaction; many identify as introverts, and some are actually homebound. Outside of the groups, they’ve connected through mutual interests or geographic location. I must say, this group was a lifesaver for many during the pandemic.

People may pooh-pooh social media relationships for not being “real,” but say that to the groups that meet for dinner in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, or those traveling to Europe next fall to meet their European sisters for a relaxed vacation. Of course, women should look carefully at the groups they join. — Friends Without Borders

Dear Friends Without Borders: Thank you so much for your letter. You’re right — we often emphasize in-person connections, but there’s certainly something to be said for online ones in this largely digital age. It’s beautiful that you’ve been able to bring so many people together across miles, ages and cultures.

Your last sentiment is, of course, very important: Safety matters. Connect, but carefully.

Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM