Dear Annie: Every December, my life starts to feel like one of those “year in review” videos — only mine looks more like the blooper reel.

Back in January, I sat at my kitchen table with a brand-new planner, a cinnamon latte and all the determination in the world. I even wrote, “This Is Jenna’s Year” in big blue letters on the first page. I was going to lose 15 pounds, pay down the credit card, stop doomscrolling at night, clean out the garage and be more present with my kids — “Scarlett” (16), “Mick” (13) and “Lucy” (8) — instead of snapping at them while answering emails.

Now it’s December. The planner is half-used and buried under a stack of unopened mail. The gym membership I swore I’d use has turned into an expensive guilt trip. The garage still has three “donate” boxes my husband, “Joe,” keeps moving from one corner to another. Scarlett needs rides to everything, Mick’s soccer bag lives in the hallway, and Lucy’s glitter art is permanently embedded in the backseat of my car. I still stay up too late scrolling, telling myself, “Just one more video.”

Social media is full of people posting their wins: promotions, “we bought a house,” amazing vacations, kids holding trophies, couples in matching pajamas by perfectly decorated trees. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to remember which teacher I still owe a gift card to and whether the hot glue on Mick’s band concert costume will survive one more wear.

I feel tired, behind and honestly a little ashamed, like I wasted another year I promised myself would be different. I love the idea of fresh starts, but right now I just feel like I blew mine — again.

How do I make peace with an imperfect year and not feel like I’m failing at life while everyone else seems to be passing with honors? — Worn Out in Wisconsin

Dear Worn Out: First, please put down the imaginary report card. You didn’t “fail” this year. You lived it.

You’re comparing your messy, real life to everyone else’s polished highlight reel. You see your half-used planner and glitter in the car, and you don’t see their meltdowns, late fees or drive-thru dinners. As the old saying often attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

You kept three kids going, showed up to work, glued costumes, moved soccer bags and loved your family. That counts — a lot.

Instead of trying to “fix” the whole year, pick one small, kind thing to do, whether it’s dropping off one donation box, going to bed earlier tonight or writing down three things you did well. And remember, if everyone were on track and perfect all the time, the world would be a very boring place.

Your worth is not measured in matching pajamas. You’re doing far better than you think.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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