Dear Annie: I’ve had a dear friend for nearly a decade. He has been addicted to meth, heroin, alcohol — you name it. For years, I was the savior he ran to when everything fell apart. He’s married and has two young children.

Before his youngest was born, he was a full-blown meth addict. I broke into his house multiple times after he overdosed while home alone with their first child, who was only 3. He cheated on his wife, got another drug-addicted woman pregnant (she later had an abortion), and his wife threatened to leave. I tried to impress upon him the severity of the situation, and by some stroke of “good luck,” they stayed together.

The problem is, both of them are still awful parents. His wife is emotionally absent and refuses to engage with the children. Although my friend insists he no longer uses drugs, I can tell he’s still abusing something and is a raging alcoholic. I’ve encouraged him to get help many times, to no avail.

He is a textbook narcissist. Everything out of his mouth is a lie, and he will say or do anything to fit his agenda. I’ve tried repeatedly to end the friendship, but he always manages to weasel his way back into my life.

Annie, I’m done. I should’ve called Child Protective Services long ago but couldn’t bring myself to. I know he loves his children and, surprisingly, is the only attentive parent. But he’s absolutely toxic to them. He’s raising them to be sociopaths, just like he is. He refuses to change and repeats that this is “all he knows” and how he’s always been. I can’t continue offering guidance to someone who doesn’t want it.

On top of all this, he is completely and unrealistically obsessed with me. He admits to stalking me and romanticizes a relationship I have made clear will never happen. My biggest concern comes from one night recently when he came over, I believe, under the influence and threatened to rape me. He has zero self-control and he did thankfully leave. As a survivor of sexual assault, I fear this isn’t a matter of if, but when. I’ve since told him to leave me alone and stopped responding to his calls and texts.

How do I maintain distance and protect myself? We are neighbors, and I can’t move. I fear he will continue trying to force his way back into my life, or do something extreme to get my attention (for example, he once falsely claimed that his mother was dying).

I know I cannot continue this relationship. I’m not responsible for him, his actions or his children, and I will never be able to change or influence someone who doesn’t want to do it for themselves. — Scared but Strong

Dear Scared but Strong: You are right to be done, and your first priority now must be protecting yourself. This man has threatened sexual violence, admitted to stalking you and continues to abuse substances. This is not a situation to manage privately, and your fear that it’s a matter of when, not if, things escalate is justified.

Maintain strict no contact. Document every interaction and threat, and contact law enforcement immediately if he violates your boundaries. If possible, seek a restraining order and alert your landlord or building manager so they understand just how much of a risk he poses.

As for the children, loving them is not the same as being capable of caring for them, and what you’ve described certainly meets the threshold for a call to Child Protective Services. CPS exists to assess risk and protect children when parents cannot or will not do so. Making that call isn’t betrayal; it’s ensuring those children receive the care and protection they need and deserve.

You’re right: You’re not responsible for fixing him, saving his marriage or absorbing the consequences of his behavior. Protect yourself, make the report and step away.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM