Dear Annie: My husband and I are at a full-blown spring break standoff, and the kids are watching it like it’s a sport.

He wants to take our two kids skiing. He’s already talking about “fresh powder,” early lift tickets and how this is the perfect chance to make “core memories.” He grew up skiing, and it’s his happy place. I can see how excited he is, and I’m not trying to be the villain who cancels joy.

But I want to go somewhere warm. Not “a light jacket” warm, but genuinely warm. Sun. Sand. The kind of weather where you can sit outside with coffee and feel your shoulders drop for the first time in months. I’m burnt out. Work has been relentless, the house has been nonstop, and I’m craving the simplest thing in the world: not being cold.

Here’s the truth I’m embarrassed to say out loud: Skiing isn’t relaxing for me. It’s expensive, exhausting, and somehow I end up being the pack mule while everyone else has fun. I’m the one managing gloves, goggles, snacks, hot chocolate, sunscreen (yes, in snow), lost mittens and tired meltdowns while my husband gets the “best run of the day.” By the time we’re back at the hotel, I feel like I need a vacation from the vacation.

He thinks a warm trip is “boring” and a waste when we could be doing something active. I think a ski trip is work with a prettier background.

How do we decide without one of us feeling resentful? And how do we do it before the kids start placing bets? — Sun Seeker in a Snow Lovers’ House

Dear Sun Seeker: You’re not fighting about snow versus sun. You’re fighting about who gets to actually rest on vacation.

Your husband hears “ski trip” and thinks tradition and fun. You hear “ski trip” and think expensive chaos, cold toes and you running mission control while everyone else gets the “best run of the day.” No wonder the beach sounds like heaven. It’s not the warmth you’re craving, it’s the break.

So say plainly that you’re willing to ski, but not if it means you’re the default manager of gear, meals and meltdowns. If he wants to hit the slopes, he needs to carry the planning and the kid-wrangling like he carries his skis. And if you go somewhere warm, it doesn’t have to be “boring.” It can be restful, with plenty of active options for him that don’t require you to organize a small army.

If you’re both smart, you’ll alternate years or pick a place that offers a little of both. If you’re both stubborn, you’ll keep arguing until the only thing you book is resentment.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM