Dear Annie: A friend of mine is facing a painful choice, and I can’t stop thinking about it. She has dogs she loves dearly, but the man she’s dating is allergic. Not “a little sneezy,” but truly can’t be around them. She feels like she’s being asked to choose between her pets and a relationship that could become something real.

I keep thinking about an associate of mine from a local board. She was in a serious, loving relationship with a man who was kind, gracious and clearly devoted to her. The problem was her cat. He was allergic, and it wasn’t something he could just push through. In the end, she chose to keep the cat and the relationship ended. Years later, I ran into her at a fundraiser. She told me she regrets choosing the cat over a long-term partner. The cat has since died, and she’s alone with a lot of sadness and “what ifs.” She says she hasn’t met anyone since who treated her as well as he did.

I’m not saying pets are disposable. They’re family. But I also know loneliness can be brutal, and the people we let go sometimes don’t come back around.

How do you weigh loyalty to a pet against the chance at a lasting partnership? Is there a way to compromise that doesn’t leave everyone heartbroken? Caught Between Leash and Love

Dear Caught: You’re right that allergies aren’t a preference; they’re a medical fact. Love is wonderful, but it won’t out-argue an immune system.

That said, pets aren’t disposable, either. The goal isn’t “pick the man” or “pick the dogs.” It’s “try every reasonable workaround before anyone makes a permanent decision.” That starts with an allergist. If his allergy is mild to moderate, there may be a path: meds, shots, strict pet-free zones, HEPA filters and a no-dogs-in-the-bedroom rule. If it’s severe, then the kind compromise may be separate homes while they keep dating, or accepting that this is a sad mismatch.

Your friend shouldn’t make choices based on someone else’s regret, but she should take the warning seriously. Decisions made in the heat of love or loyalty can echo later. The best answer is the one that’s honest, workable and doesn’t leave either a person or a pet suffering.

Dear Annie: I love my friend, but she is late for everything. We have been close for 15 years, and she is kind, funny and loyal in a real crisis. But lunch at 12 means 12:30. Dinner at 7 means I am sitting there alone, making small talk with the waiter. If we go to a movie, she arrives during the previews with an iced coffee and a smile, as if time is optional.

I have tried joking, hinting and even giving her earlier times. She laughs and says, “You know me!” Meanwhile, I am left waiting and feeling foolish.

What makes this hard is that she is a good person. I do not want to embarrass her or sound uptight, but I am starting to feel like my time matters less than hers.

How do I address this without damaging a long friendship? — Waiting and Wondering

Dear Waiting: You are not upset about minutes. You are upset about respect.

Stop hinting and start being clear. Tell her kindly that her lateness is straining the friendship and that your time matters, too. Then set a boundary and keep it. Start dinner, go into the movie, and stop waiting endlessly.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM