Dear Annie: I am middle-aged and lost my job during the pandemic when the company I had been with for years eliminated my position. Despite my experience and education, I have not been able to find anything permanent or full-time since.

I feel like I am too old to be hired and too young to retire. My husband and I live in an economically repressed region with a limited job market, and he refuses to leave his job and relocate, despite offers and interest from other companies in more lucrative areas and my pleas over the years to leave this one-horse town. He is also not interested in promotions where he works, though he could easily qualify for one.

He currently makes enough money to support us both (we have no kids). We have savings and live modestly. He, though, stays stressed and anxious about money, and I constantly feel his resentment and disgust over my joblessness.

Like all couples, we’ve had our share of disagreements over finances, and it always comes back to my not having a regular job. Recently, he made an offhanded comment about me “sitting around eating bonbons all day.” This really hurt and I told him so. I may not have a paying full-time job, but I am doing all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, pet care and home maintenance and handling all financial matters (bills, taxes, etc.). This callous comment about money makes me feel worthless and unequal since I’m not bringing home a regular paycheck.

I thought we were supposed to be partners in everything, but it seems he only sees me as a failed financial partner. I have even seriously considered selling my wedding and engagement rings and other jewelry just to have something monetary to contribute. When I told him this, he said he didn’t care.

He knows I have suffered from bouts of severe depression since losing my job, and such words and attitude hit me very hard. Naturally, this has negatively affected other areas of our relationship. Counseling isn’t an option, as he’s refused to go in the past. I don’t know what to say or do for myself or for my marriage. — Feeling Worthless

Dear Feeling Worthless: Your husband lives comfortably on his salary, refuses to move, refuses a promotion and refuses counseling — then aims his stress at you.

Meanwhile, you are managing a household, his finances and his anxiety, while battling depression and absorbing his contempt.

He won’t go to counseling, but you can go alone — and at this point, you should. Not necessarily to save the marriage, but to have a place to think. Despite the tone of your letter, you do have options; for example, you could move alone and let him decide whether the marriage follows.

A good therapist can also help you get clear on what you actually want.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM