Dear Annie: My wife (40) and I (53) have been married for almost a year and a half. A few weeks ago, she moved out and took our daughters, ages 3 and 4, with her. When she left, she said they’d be back that evening. They haven’t returned. I haven’t seen or spoken to my girls in almost a month.

When I ask to see or talk to them, my wife says she’s asked the children and they’ve said no, and that she doesn’t want to pressure them or cause them stress. My wife insists she’s protecting them because they’ve heard arguments between us. We’ve disagreed in front of the children before, but our arguments have never involved screaming, threats or physical violence. The girls would know from our voices that we were upset, but that’s all.

I have a loving relationship with my daughters, and our family and friends have seen that. I keep asking my wife to help the girls feel comfortable seeing or talking to me. She says she will, but I don’t know whether she’s done anything.

My wife hasn’t filed for divorce or sought custody, and all their belongings are still at our home. I don’t know what her plans are or where she sees our future going. Right now, I just want to see and talk to my children.

What should I do? — Heartbroken Father

Dear Heartbroken Father: Taking your children and refusing contact for weeks is a serious matter. Based on what you’ve shared, it’s hard to see how a few marital disagreements would justify keeping you from seeing or speaking to your daughters for this long.

At 3 and 4, your girls are too young to decide whether they should have contact with their father. If your wife has concerns about conflict, those are issues for the adults to work through.

You’ve spent weeks asking and waiting. It’s time to consult a family law attorney so you can understand your rights and take steps toward restoring contact with your daughters.

In the meantime, keep your communication with your wife calm, respectful and focused on the kids. Your girls need both parents acting in their best interests, especially right now.

Dear Annie: Is it normal not to remember every significant date or detail in a relationship? I’ve been engaged for more than three years, and my fiancee seems to remember everything — the day we first started talking, the day we stopped using the dating app, social events we’ve attended together and even details about my life that even I’ve forgotten.

I’ve always had a bad memory and maybe I’m not putting in enough effort, but sometimes I worry that my inability to remember things the way she does makes me seem uncaring. I often find myself in awe and jealous of how much she remembers. The truth is my mind can only hold so much without a notepad of paper in front of me.

This brings me to another question I have about the past. Is it wrong to remember former girlfriends in my prayers from time to time? I don’t have romantic feelings for them, but they were once important people in my life, and I still wish them well.

Am I worrying too much? What do you think? — Selective Memory

Dear Selective Memory: You’re worrying too much. Not everyone is wired to remember every date and detail. What matters isn’t whether you remember the day you deleted a dating app but whether your fiancee feels loved and cherished.

If your memory needs a little help, use that notepad. Keeping track of important dates is easier when you don’t leave it all up to memory.

As for your exes, no, saying a prayer for them isn’t a betrayal. The people who shape us often stay in our memories long after they leave our lives. Remembering someone from your past isn’t the same thing as wanting them in your future.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM