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Dear Annie: My sister, who is also my roommate, started a new job that is keeping her super busy. She doesn’t come home from the office before 10 p.m. most nights, and she’s gone again early in the morning. Her last job was remote, as is mine, so I’m used to having her around all the time. Now I can’t even get her to respond to a text.
I know it’s nothing personal. She just needs to be focused on work right now. But still, I’m left feeling like I lost my best friend. I can barely get any time or attention out of her these days. Should I say something, or should I just wait for this season of life to pass? -- Missing My Sister
Dear Missing: You can say something, but say it as a request, not a complaint. “I miss you” lands very differently than “you’re never around.” Ask her for something small -- Sunday morning coffee, even 10 minutes before bed. New jobs demand a lot early on, and this crunch will likely ease once she finds her footing.
Until then, don’t let your social life orbit her alone. Call other friends and make plans that don’t depend on her calendar. A fuller life of your own will make the time you do get with her feel like a bonus, not a lifeline.
Dear Annie: My 86-year-old mom recently had a fall. I rushed her to the ER, where doctors found a small brain bleed. She was home within 48 hours, saying she felt fine and that the bleeding had stopped. But three days later, she developed strokelike symptoms, and I called 911.
She spent the next month in the hospital and rehab, suffering a second brain bleed and seven seizures. I was there every day helping feed and care for her. Not one of her friends visited her the entire time.
Now that she’s home, one friend has suddenly started coming around again, even though she never visited early on in my mom’s recovery. It’s made me question the friendship. Mom will fight you for every bill when eating out or pay for the ticket at any event, which they do often, and I’m beginning to think she’s being used by this person.
Should I mention this to my mom or talk to her friend directly? This friend has a daughter who no longer speaks to her, and I can’t help wondering if this is why. I’m very concerned as my mom continues getting older that this “friend” is setting herself up to take even more, possibly stealing money from her in a bigger way down the line. I’m seeing red flags everywhere here. Am I paranoid? -- Worried Caregiving Child
Dear Caregiving Child: After everything you and your mom have been through, it’s no wonder your protective instincts are in overdrive.
It’s disappointing that this friend -- and the others in your mom’s circle -- disappeared during her hospitalization, but that alone doesn’t prove she’s taking advantage of her. Some people simply don’t know how to show up in a crisis.
For now, keep your eyes open, but don’t accuse anyone without evidence. If you notice missing money or belongings, or anyone pressuring your mom financially, take it seriously. In the meantime, talk with your mom about protecting herself money-wise and keep checking in. Sometimes the best safeguard is simply a loving family member who’s paying attention. Your mom is lucky to have you.
“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM