Trending
Dear Annie: My husband is a kind, funny and intelligent man, but at dinner parties he has one habit that is starting to drive me crazy: He talks way too much.
He loves telling stories, and once he starts, there is almost no stopping him. A simple story about running into an old friend can turn into a 20-minute play-by-play with every name, date, side comment and completely unnecessary detail included. He often interrupts himself to tell another story, then another, before eventually getting back to the original point.
I can see our friends trying to be polite, but sometimes they stop making eye contact or start talking to the person next to them. A few people have even joked that my husband never tells the “short version.” I’ve tried giving him a look, touching his arm or changing the subject, but he either doesn’t notice or keeps going.
The hardest part is that he truly believes everyone is fascinated. If I bring it up later, he says, “They were listening,” and gets a little defensive.
I love him and don’t want to embarrass him, especially in front of other people. But I also want our dinners to feel like conversations, not performances.
How can I help him realize that being a good storyteller also means knowing when to stop? -- Married to the Long Version
Dear Married to the Long Version: You have to let him know that his stories are running a little too long. Make sure you approach the subject kindly and in private. Don’t wait until you’re both irritated after another dinner party. Say that you love his stories, but sometimes they leave so little room for everyone else that the conversation becomes one-sided.
You might even agree on a discrete signal when a story is running long. A good storyteller knows that leaving people wanting a little more is better than leaving them looking for the exit.
Dear Annie: I have been married for 45 years. I’m in my early 70s, and my husband is in his late 70s. I have always been the adventurous one, while he has been happiest staying close to home.
My husband is afraid of flying, and for years, whenever I wanted to travel with our children, he would tell me that if I went without him, he might not be there when I returned. I let that fear and guilt control me, and now I deeply regret it.
A few years ago, I convinced him to fly to a family gathering, but only because we bought first-class tickets that we could barely afford. On another trip, we drove 1,500 miles, and even though we are both professional drivers, I ended up doing most of the driving because he was so anxious.
Now that we are older, our finances are more limited, and many of the years when I wanted to travel with my family are gone. I feel angry that I allowed his fears to dictate so much of my life. I also feel more like his caretaker than his wife because he refuses to fly, cruise or let anyone else drive.
How do I let go of the resentment I feel toward my husband -- and toward myself -- for all the experiences I gave up to keep the peace? -- Grounded for Too Long
Dear Grounded: You can’t get those years back, but you can decide that resentment won’t take the ones you still have. Stop punishing yourself for choices you made to keep the peace, and start making room for the life you want now.
Your husband’s fears are his to manage, not yours to inherit. If he won’t get help or travel, you are still allowed to go. Go now and enjoy yourself!
“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM