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Dear Annie: My aunt has the strangest quality. I see her at every holiday and family party, and she always brings something delicious made from scratch. For my cousin’s birthday, it was a key lime pie that disappeared within minutes. It was unreal.
On several occasions, I’ve asked her for the recipe. I like to cook, and she clearly has good ones. But every time, she says something like, “Oh, no, this one’s a secret!” It’s happened with the key lime pie, roasted brussels sprouts, tortellini soup and a pasta casserole. Four times, I’ve asked; four times, I’ve been turned down.
At first I didn’t take it personally, but it’s actually starting to bother me. We’re family, and she can’t share her “secret” recipes? I’ve asked my mom about it, and she just laughs it off, saying “Aunt Tonia’s always been crazy.” Should I even keep asking? -- Left Out of the Kitchen
Dear Left Out of the Kitchen: Some cooks guard their dishes the way other people guard their diaries, and being family doesn’t automatically grant you clearance.
You’ve asked, and she’s answered — four times now. Keeping her recipes under lock and key is an unusual choice, but she’s allowed to make it. Your job is to keep showing up and eating the pie.
Dear Annie: My friend “Georgia” went on vacation last month and borrowed some of my clothes for the trip. I have no problem lending things to her -- she’s always treated them with care and returned them promptly. Plus I had no use for my sundresses and cover-ups here in the city, while she could get real use out of them on her Caribbean vacation.
The problem is she’s been home for weeks now and still hasn’t returned them. I reminded her once, and she said, “Oh, yeah, I’ll bring them over,” but never did. I’ve seen her multiple times since, and still nothing.
I don’t know if she forgot, wants to keep them, or somehow damaged them and doesn’t know how to tell me. I don’t want this to become a fight, but I’d also like my clothes back. -- Missing My Things
Dear Missing My Things: It’s hard to know what’s actually going on in Georgia’s head. It might be as simple as forgetting, rude as that is.
Ask one more time, but give her a deadline instead of an open invitation. Tell her you’re reorganizing your closet and want to take inventory of everything you own. A specific reason, on a specific day, tends to get results a casual reminder often doesn’t.
“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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