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Dear Annie: My siblings and I usually go in on gifts for my parents for birthdays and holidays. Since there are five of us, we can pool enough for something really nice, such as new golf clubs or a weekend away, rather than five smaller separate gifts.
My dad’s birthday is coming up, and my sister sent around her usual text to coordinate. The problem is my finances are especially tight this year. My car needed a ton of work last month, my landlord just raised the rent, and I’m still paying off student loans.
I don’t want my dad to think I care less, and I don’t want my siblings to see me as the one who bailed. At the same time, it hurts to think about forking over that much money right now. How do I handle this without it becoming a whole thing? -- Tapped Out
Dear Tapped Out: Why not be honest? A simple text such as “Budget’s tight this year, I’m going to do my own thing” says everything that needs saying. Then you’re free to do something small but meaningful for your dad: a book, a framed photo of you two, a heartfelt card.
If your siblings really want you in on the gift, maybe they can cover part of your share this year and keep your name on the card. I’m sure you’ll have an opportunity to make it up to them down the line.
Dear Annie: Back in June, I caught my husband talking to another woman. She lives in Poland, and I found messages where they had been sexting each other back and forth.
Since then, he tried to commit suicide and was put on an antidepressant medication. We’re both in individual counseling and just started attending couples counseling. He definitely still has an addiction to looking at other women, which he won’t admit to. I destroyed his phone because I was so angry and hurt by everything I found.
I want our marriage to work, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to trust him again when he won’t even admit there’s a problem. Is there a way for us to move past this? -- Betrayed
Dear Betrayed: You can move past this, but only if your husband owns up to what he’s done. Whether it’s an addiction is for a professional to say, but the sexting alone broke your trust.
You had every right to be angry, but destroying his phone wasn’t OK either — and getting rid of it won’t get rid of the problem.
I’m glad you’re already in counseling. Give it time and be honest, with yourselves and with each other. There’s a lot to repair here, but you’re already in the right place to start.
And make sure your husband stays in close contact with his doctor and therapist. A suicide attempt is incredibly serious, and his mental health needs just as much attention as your marriage does.
“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM