Trending
Dear Annie: My best friend of over 20 years has a son that is her world. Her entire life revolves around him. What I’ve noticed is that he has become such a master of manipulation that either she ignores it or she truly doesn’t see it.
For example, he recently transferred colleges to accept an athletic scholarship. He insisted his car, a 2025 BMW, be delivered to him, for a delivery fee of $2,700. At first, she didn’t agree to it, but he pushed back so hard that she gave in. Then came over $1,000 in parking tickets -- that SHE paid! He was supposed to pay them out of the $2,000-per-month allowance he is given, but he did not. Now he’s requested an electric scooter and sent his mother a link to one that costs $1,500, which she said she will buy.
Now, mind you, he’s only getting the tickets because he feels student parking is too far of a walk.
She has expressed the idea of cutting him off but continually gives in to his demands out of guilt. Financially, it is starting to wear on her. Do I stay quiet or tell her he’s taking advantage? -- Concerned Friend
Dear Concerned Friend: You can and should tell her, but at the end of the day, it’s her money, her son and her call. If she keeps caving, she’s the one who lives with the bank statement.
She’s not blind to what’s happening, but she’s choosing comfort over conflict. Say your piece once; whether she acts on it is hers to decide.
Dear Annie: My best friend recently had her second baby, and I know she barely has time to sleep. We used to talk every day, run our errands together and go on walks. Now I hardly see her; weeks go by without a word. When she does reach out, it’s only because she needs a favor: can I pick something up, drop something off, check in on their cat while the family’s away for the weekend.
I don’t mean to sound unsupportive. I understand her priorities are shifting right now. But I miss my friend, not just being useful to her. I’ve started dreading her texts a little, because I know it’s not just a “let’s catch up” message. I haven’t said anything because I don’t want to pile more on her plate right now. I just don’t know how long this phase of life is supposed to last. -- Missing My Friend
Dear Missing My Friend: It’s true she has different priorities than she used to; she’s underwater with two kids, and she’s calling you because you’re someone she trusts to ask.
Still, you shouldn’t be reduced to unpaid help while the friendship part goes missing. Tell her you miss her and ask for some real time together, whatever she can manage -- even if that’s a coffee at home while the kids are napping. And remember, favors are requests, not obligations. You’re both allowed to say no.
“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM