I’ve been thinking a lot about how we protect our children from emotional distress, especially when toxic stress is present. I want to focus on protective factors that may decrease the harm of risk factors for bad outcomes related to the experience of toxic stress.

Let me define some of these terms.

Toxic stress is the extreme psychological stress sometimes experienced in our interactions with our environment. This stress would include things like domestic violence, the loss of a parent to death, divorce or separation, the witness of extreme trauma like murder, war, genocide or a natural catastrophe like a tornado or hurricane. It would include bullying and abuse, whether physical, emotional or sexual. Children who experience toxic stress CAN end up with significant behavior problems, aggression, fear, separation anxiety, attachment disorders, school failure, truancy, substance abuse, depression, suicide, self-cutting, post-traumatic stress disorder and the list goes on and on.

In pediatrics, we talk about risk factors all the time. In this context, I’m referring to those things in our world that increase the chances that we will experience bad outcomes when we run into toxic stress. Risk factors for emotional illness include things like genetics, sleep deprivation, medication side effects and chronic illness, just to name a few.

What are the things we can do to help strengthen our children’s ability to withstand toxic stress? That’s where protective factors come in.

Protective factors refer to the things in our environment that make it easier to rebound after traumatic events. They are the factors that make us brave and resilient and able to cope. They are the factors that keep us from losing faith, losing hope and giving up. These would include a passion for life given to us by parents who pass on their passions for ice-fishing or hunting or quilting or music or cultural heritage. These would include loving grandparents who shield us when we have dysfunctional parents. These would include families who show us how to have fun without the alcohol or mind-altering substances. These would include friends who listen and believe us, involving trusted adults when we are being abused or bullied. These would include teachers who challenge us and believe in us. These would include spiritual advisors who guide us in our search for faith. These would include medical providers and counselors who listen to us without judgment.

All of us in a community can be a protective factor for individual children and youth. The more protective factors a child has the more chance he has to be resilient. So, a child who lives in a home where domestic conflict is the norm will do better with grandparents who notice and encourage a strong relationship and a safe haven. A child who has lost a parent will do better if there is a community of friends and relatives who spend time with him and encourage him to talk about the parent he lost if he wants to. A child who is bullied at school or struggling to learn will do better if a teacher notices and steps in, recognizing his strengths and praising his efforts. A child who is molested will do better if a friend believes her and tells a trusted adult. A child will do better if he/she is protected and kept safe, even if the environment that has led to the toxic stress in the first place doesn’t change.

Dealing with toxic stress in a child’s environment can seem like an overwhelming and daunting topic to tackle. Every little bit of good helps counteract the bad. So don’t hold back from allowing yourself to be a protective factor in a child’s life.

Editor’s note: Sharon Gilliland is an MD?at BCMH.