Dear Annie: My sister, “Renee,” and I have always been close, but things changed after she had a baby last year. I was genuinely happy for her, and I’ve tried to be supportive — dropping off meals, babysitting when I can, texting to check in. But ever since the baby was born, she’s been distant and, honestly, a little cold.

She cancels plans last-minute, rarely responds to my texts, and when we do talk, she only wants to discuss the baby. I’ve invited her to lunch or coffee just the two of us, but she always says she’s too busy or tired. I get that motherhood is overwhelming, but I miss my sister. When I brought it up gently, she snapped and said I don’t understand what it’s like to be a parent, which hurt.

I don’t have kids, and I don’t plan to, but that shouldn’t make me less important in her life. I’m not sure if I should give her more space or try harder to stay close. I just don’t know how to reach her anymore. Is this just a phase, or have we outgrown our bond? — Left Out and Let Down

Dear Left Out: Change is the only constant in life, and your sister’s life just changed dramatically. No, your relationship will never be the same as it was before, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never be close again.

This season, for her, is all about the baby. It’s not even her fault; it’s hard-wired into our DNA thanks to evolutionary biology. But this season will end, as all seasons do, and she will eventually gain some free time back.

In the meantime, continue supporting her and building your relationship with your new niece or nephew. You will readjust to your new roles in due time and regain the closeness you once shared; it just might look a little different.

Dear Annie: I’ve been dating a guy named “Marcus” for about eight months. He’s thoughtful, funny and treats me with real kindness. We’ve talked about the future, and he says he sees long-term potential. The issue is his ex-girlfriend, “Talia.”

They dated for five years and broke up about a year before we met. Marcus insists they’re just friends now and that the relationship ended for good reasons. But they still text almost daily, and he meets up with her for coffee or lunch at least once or twice a month. He says they are simply close friends and that it’s “totally platonic.”

I’ve never met Talia, but I’ve seen a few of their messages when he was texting next to me, and the tone is … familiar. Not flirtatious, exactly, but personal. She still calls him “M” and signs off with hearts sometimes. When I brought it up, Marcus said I was overthinking it and that I need to trust him.

I want to be secure, but this doesn’t sit right with me. Am I being insecure, or is this a boundary issue he’s refusing to acknowledge? — Unsure Where I Stand

Dear Unsure: No, you’re not being insecure. What you’re describing isn’t about jealousy; it’s about clarity and respect. Marcus may have moved on romantically, but it sounds like he’s still emotionally entangled with his ex in a way that would naturally make any partner uncomfortable. It’s OK to be friends with an ex — commendable, even — but texting every day?

Have an honest conversation with Marcus explaining to him all the reasons why this relationship makes you uncomfortable. Make it clear that you’re not accusing him of anything; you are just seeking security in your relationship.

Together, you can come up with some reasonable boundaries for their communication. Maybe you want to meet Talia; maybe you don’t. Whatever you decide, make sure the communication channels are open so that you can work through this together.

If he can’t understand why this dynamic doesn’t work for you, that tells you something important about how he handles boundaries.

Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM