Dear Annie: This Thanksgiving I will be meeting my new boyfriend’s family for the first time, and I am already a bundle of nerves. His mom is hosting a big traditional dinner at their home, the kind with a perfectly roasted turkey, gravy from scratch and about 10 different side dishes. She is known for her cooking, and apparently Thanksgiving is her Super Bowl.

There is just one problem. I am a vegetarian. I have not eaten meat in nearly a decade, not for attention but because it genuinely makes me feel better physically and aligns with my values. My boyfriend mentioned it to his mom, and she was polite, but I could tell from her tone that she did not quite know what to make of it. She said something like, “Oh, she does not eat turkey? Well … We will figure something out.”

Now I am panicking. I do not want to show up and seem ungrateful, picky, or worse, judgmental. I want his mom to like me, and I know how personal cooking can be. I have even thought about just taking a small piece of turkey to be polite, but the idea of doing that feels wrong and dishonest. On the other hand, I do not want to make the whole meal about me or cause awkwardness around the table.

Should I offer to bring a vegetarian dish to share? Should I just quietly fill my plate with sides and hope no one notices? Or should I explain my choice more directly so it does not seem like I am being difficult?

I really care about this guy, and I would love to start off on the right foot with his family. How can I stay true to myself while still being a gracious guest? — Nervous Vegetarian

Dear Nervous: You can impress your boyfriend’s mom without eating the turkey. What matters most is not what is on your plate but your attitude at the table.

Yes, you should offer to bring a vegetarian dish to share — something hearty and festive so you are adding to the meal, not subtracting from it. Bringing a beautiful side or casserole says, “I am thoughtful,” not “I am difficult.” This way, you ensure you have something to eat and you impress your boyfriend’s mom with your contribution.

At dinner, be gracious, compliment her cooking and focus on enjoying the company. Don’t take a piece of turkey for the sake of being polite. Most hosts care far more about appreciation than appetite.

I can tell you are a kind person already because you care about not doing anything to take away from the dinner that your boyfriend’s mom so graciously arranged. Stay true to your values, smile often and help with the dishes when dinner’s over. That will win over any mom faster than a bite of turkey ever could.

Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM