Dear Annie: I’m wrapping up a HORRIBLE, out-of-the-blue abandonment divorce from my soon-to-be ex-husband.

In 2023, I came home from teaching kindergarten to find out my ex took the majority of our furniture and moved out of state. He blocked me and erased me as if I didn’t exist. It took several months to locate him with a private detective. I’ve had to borrow money from my family in order to get him to pay me alimony. He makes three times more than I do and fought me on this.

I wish he cheated on me because being abandoned is worse. My children both graduated from college when all this happened and moved out of state; my daughter lives across the country. Holidays are awful, and I’m tired of being alone, finding myself missing a narcissist I used to love. I have zero family in the state I live in, and I still work.

Two and a half years later and I’m still like a zombie. I’ve tried talking to a therapist, but it didn’t work for me. Sometimes it feels like, what’s the point? — Almost Divorced

Dear Almost Divorced: The end of a marriage is hard enough, but one that catches you by surprise and strikes swiftly is especially hard to recover from. Your ex didn’t just leave; he vanished without answers, explanation or closure.

You probably don’t actually miss the narcissist you used to call your husband. You miss the safety, routine and security you lost overnight. Healing from that kind of shock takes time, often more than a couple of years, and it’s rarely linear.

Going it alone is what’s keeping you stuck. If one therapist wasn’t the right fit, that doesn’t mean another won’t be. A different counselor, a support group or even one weekly commitment that gets you out of the house can help you move in the right direction.

Despite everything you’ve been through, you still have a life that matters, children who matter and work that matters. The voice telling you it’s pointless is just your pain talking, not reality. Don’t let it get the final word.

Dear Annie: I’m writing in response to “Friendly Neighbor in Lincoln, NE,” who wondered why their greetings on daily walks are seldom returned by those they pass.

When I was growing up, my mother used to say hello to everyone. At the store or walking down the sidewalk, she would smile and greet just about every person we passed in our small town, sometimes stopping for short conversations. It drove me nuts. I was too shy to even look at strangers.

When I finally asked her why she did this, she explained it in a way I’ve never forgotten. She said that if you look someone in the eye and smile, chances are they’ll automatically smile back. Now you’re both smiling — easy as that. Saying hello helps, too. She even suggested making it a game: If I smiled and said hello and they did the same, we both won. If they didn’t, at least I still won.

We started playing that game together, and it changed me. I became more self-confident and outgoing. I wasn’t afraid to talk to people anymore. I’m now in my 60s and raised my kids to play the game, too. They’re both grown now, and I’m so proud when I see them look people in the eye, smile and say hello. They’re winning! — Fellow Friendly Neighbor

Dear Fellow Friendly Neighbor: Thank you for your letter. I love this! Your mother was right: Kindness doesn’t have to be matched to matter. That alone is its own reward.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM