Dear Annie: I’ve been friends with the same group of women since our children were in grade school. We’re now in our late 50s and early 60s, and for years this group has been my main social circle. We’ve shared weddings, divorces, illnesses and losses. I will always value them for that.

Lately, though, I find myself dreading our get-togethers. The conversation has narrowed to a steady loop of complaints — about spouses, adult children, politics, health problems, you name it. When I try to change the subject or bring up something positive, it’s brushed aside or met with sarcasm. I leave these lunches feeling drained and oddly guilty for not being as unhappy as everyone else.

I don’t want to abandon old friends or act superior. At the same time, I’m at a stage of life where I want joy and curiosity. I would never turn down a friend who needs help, but these women aren’t even looking for solutions. They just want someone to complain to.

Is it disloyal to pull back from this group, even after all we’ve been through together? — Ready for a New Chapter

Dear Ready for a New Chapter: History matters, but it is not a life sentence. People change. Seasons change. And sometimes a group that carried us through child-rearing years no longer fits the life we’re living now.

You don’t need a dramatic exit or an explanation. Simply go less often. Suggest different activities. Spend more time with people who leave you feeling lighter instead of smaller.

Dear Annie: I’ve been seeing a gentleman for the past three months. We’re both 72 and met on a dating app. We get along, and he treats me very well. We spend nearly every day together, and he’s been staying over most nights, too.

Recently, a cousin he’s very close to came to visit for a week. He told me he would see me after she left and went to pick her up from the airport. I was upset about this. He didn’t see a problem, explaining that she was there for him when his wife died and he felt obligated to entertain her while she was here.

Do I have a right to be upset about being left out of the blue? Please advise. Thank you. — Early Dating Dis

Dear Early Dating Dis: Is it fair to feel disappointed by a sudden change in routine? Sure. But being upset that this man chose to spend time with a close family member, especially one who supported him through his wife’s death, is a stretch. A more natural reaction might be wishing you’d been included or introduced, rather than feeling pushed aside.

Three months is still early days. You’re both still learning how the other handles priorities, and in this case you’ve learned that family loyalty matters to him. For now, the best thing to do is take note, not offense. If you want to say anything, keep it simple. Tell him you missed seeing him and would’ve enjoyed meeting his cousin.

If this becomes a pattern, that’s a different conversation — and then you’d have every right to be upset.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM