Dear Annie: My friend insists on splitting every restaurant bill “evenly,” no matter what. The problem is, she always orders cocktails and appetizers, while I usually stick to one entree.

Last week, my $22 dinner somehow became $48 after the “split.” When I suggested we each pay for what we ordered, she laughed and said, “That’s so much more complicated.”

I like spending time with her, but I’m starting to dread going out to eat. How do I bring this up without sounding cheap? — Tired of Picking Up the Tab

Dear Tired: There are plenty of ways to split a bill that don’t leave you funding her appetizers.

Putting your card down and settling up later can work, but only if you trust she’ll pay you back. You could also ask the waiter when you order if it’s possible to bring separate checks.

And if none of that appeals, change the setting. A home-cooked meal or a walk doesn’t come with a surprise surcharge.

Dear Annie: My wife and I have had a solid 25-year marriage where we’ve both been very open and told each other anything and everything. Recently, my wife let it slip that she and her best friend “Claudia” smoked pot together a few years ago.

The pot-smoking doesn’t bother me at all, but that’s the type of thing we would’ve told each other about. When I asked her why she’d never mentioned it before, I could tell she was nervous. When I asked who else was at the party when it happened, she stumbled to tell me the names of some of her and Claudia’s female friends.

Although a good friend, Claudia has a history of multiple affairs, and she’s not of the highest moral character. The fact that my wife kept this from me makes me suspect there’s more to the story than she said and likely that some of Claudia’s male friends were there.

This is really bothering me and making me wonder what I should do. Should I press my wife further and risk angering her by questioning her fidelity? Or should I ask Claudia her version of the events? I’ve tried to get this out of my head, but at this point, I just can’t. — Suspicious

Dear Suspicious: What you’re reacting to isn’t the pot, but the feeling that something was withheld. After 25 years of openness, even a small omission can feel larger than it is.

Suspicion will do more damage than the truth you’re seeking. Go back to your wife calmly and without accusation. Tell her you’re unsettled, not because of what happened, but because it felt out of step with the honesty you two have built. Then listen.

Don’t bring Claudia into your marriage. That will only create more confusion and chaos, not clarity. Trust is strengthened in conversations like this, not investigations. If it continues to weigh on your marriage, talking it through with a couples counselor can help you reconnect and rebuild trust.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM