Over 60: Odds and ends

First of all, a huge thank you from the many over 6os who appreciated my comments – especially those expressing gratitude regarding what one person called NPR’s growing “in your face” attitude and which another said was a disappointing trend toward “éparter les bourgeois” over the past sincerity in recording honestly – less subjecting feministic attitude (this extreme no better than the former male domination), while searching for the original approach that came from the dedicated, ambitious early broadcasters and their aim to be free of commercials and with delivery of information with their dedication to the best in radio voices who once brought their material to their audiences professionally. Intelligently, and without axes to swing.



On to other topics of interest from you over-sixties, who feel left behind by the modern Tech Age and its confusion in wording:

• There was a time when “memory” was simply something you lost with age. And an “application” was for seeking employment. A “program” was a TV show, and a “cursor” was someone who used profanity.

• A “keyboard” was on a piano, a “web” was a spider’s home, and a “virus” was the flu, while a “CD” referred to a bank account.

• A “hard drive” was a long trip on the road, and a “mouse pad” was where a mouse lived.


These and other new word usages are what generation gaps are made of. Consider the signs of our times, that actually existed a long time ago:

• In a podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.” On a septic Tank Truck in Oregon: “Yesterday’s meals on Wheels.” At a proctologist’s door: “To expedite your visit please back in.” On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.” And on another plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip; call your plumber.”

• On a church billboard it read: “Seven days without God makes one weak.” And at a tire shop in Milwaukee, “Invite us to your next blowout.” On a surgeon’s office door: “Hello! Can we pick your nose?” In a nonsmoking area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

• On another Septic Tank Truck: “We’re #1 in the #2 business.” At a towing company, “We don’t charge an arm or a leg; we want tows.” And, finally: on an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”


OK, just a bit more from the older generation; you might have heard some of these before, but they’re worth a second time around:

• Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

• Forget the health food; I need all the preservatives I can get.

• When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.

• You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

• It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but no one bothers to ask you the questions.

• Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

• Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


And, finally, you may have heard these things before, but:

* Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

* Wrinkles don’t hurt.

* Families are like fudge – mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

* Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s that held its ground.

* Laughing is good exercise; it’s like jogging on the inside.

* Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy that came with it.


Today's breaking news and more in your inbox

I'm interested in (please check all that apply)
Are you a paying subscriber to the newspaper? *

Starting at $4.62/week.

Subscribe Today