Mary Healy Mentink

Born October 7, 1937, to John Dee and Katherine Hicok Healy, the only girl among five brothers, Mary learned early the pull of family and friendships, the joy of reading and curiosity, and the value of education. She realized her dual goals of earning a degree and starting a family when she graduated from Marquette University in 1959 with a B.S. in speech pathology, landed an elementary school job in Menominee, Mich., and the following year got married. Mary and her husband Juan Mentink in time returned to their hometown of Houghton, Mich., with their first babe in arms (and sleeping in a dresser drawer). In 1967 they moved to Rhinelander, Wis., where Mary developed lifelong friendships and raised her girls.

Though she happily accepted the moniker “stay-at-home Mom,” Mary was many things: Mother of 6, school board member, devoted church goer, Meals on Wheels driver, speech and reading tutor, a visitor to the homebound, neighborhood prankster. She fried an egg on the sidewalk to prove how hot it was; she challenged a local track star to a race, if he ran backwards. With warmth, insights and accountability, Mary welcomed her children’s friends with stories, gingersnap cookies, and a chore or two, usually involving a dust rag.

As her kids became independent, Mary shifted her skills and joy to the workplace – as copy editor at the Hodag Shopper newspaper and as a substitute teacher. Encouraged to consider full-time teaching, Mary returned to school, this time at UW-Superior, to earn her teaching certificate. She taught 2nd graders at Rhinelander Catholic Central for 15 years, shaping their young minds for a life of curiosity and kindness. She was a stickler for discipline, but oh how she loved to bend the rules. She supplemented required lessons with Paddle to the Sea to explore geography, history, astronomy, math, and the thrill of learning new words and their etymology.

She loved a good pun and poems. She found solace in books and long morning bike rides. She was curious and a learner. Though she declared she wasn’t a “joiner,” nonetheless she participated in book clubs, an investment club, a foreign film club. Always up for an adventure and meeting new people, she joined the Hawaiian Club at Marquette when Hawaii was a territory and not yet a state. She peeled hundreds of potatoes for the church’s fundraising booth at Hodag Country Fest, she sorted clothes at the charitable Thrift store, she dusted the church with a regular group of ladies. At various times she learned needlepoint, knitting, origami, calligraphy. For years she sewed many of her children’s summer clothes. Notice that cooking is not on these lists, and yet her kids and grandkids fondly recall the meals she left hot when you came home late from a sporting event, or to greet you after a long drive home for Christmas: beef stew, chili, pot roast, and a side of coleslaw in the summer. The sweets ran to cardamom bread (with frosting!), doughnut holes, cookie bars. Breakfast was scrambled eggs and buttered toast. That could be dinner, too. Her vices were black licorice and Red Hots, which she and her brothers called “punishment candy.”

Mary would say she’d had a good life blessed with caring friends and a wonderful large extended family of story tellers who are “good people.” But it wasn’t an easy life. Her mother passed away when she was a young girl, two of her dear brothers died when she was barely 30. Divorced at 50, she had to rebuild her future. Despite the heartaches, Mary would not complain. Instead, she counted her blessings, prayed the Beatitudes, and looked out for others less fortunate. She was loyal, nurturing, sometimes silly, and unwavering in her trust in friends. She did not gossip, she redirected rumor mongers, she kept confidences. Mary was an easy friend and a nonjudgmental listener. Her special talent was gift giving, though

sometimes your Christmas present showed up in July. Thoughtful and not extravagant, she’d find the perfect gift that could be a hat, long underwear, a spatula, a check toward tuition.

Family was her center. She delighted in her children’s lives, friends and families. She treasured her relationships with her girls’ husbands and significant others. She connected with her nieces and nephews and their families through correspondence and welcoming visitors as they passed through town.

Mary kept stationery on hand, ready to recognize someone’s achievements, or gift, or sorrow, or simply to share a bit of personal news or a news clipping of interest. As dementia robbed her of words and memories, her ruminations turned to stories of her parents and brothers, their escapades, and their generosity. “We are so lucky,” she often told callers.

Mary is preceded in death by her parents, her stepmother Eleanor Thompson Healy, brothers Timothy (“Tim”), John (“Jake”), Robert (\\\”Boots\\\”), Peter (“Becca”); sisters-in-law Colleen, Gretchen, and Ingrid; nieces Elizabeth (“Liz”) and Mary; nephew and Godson James (“Jim”).

She is survived by her brother Michael Healy (Irene); sister-in-law Mary (Sanregret) Healy; daughters Jane, Ann, Katherine (Kevin), Margaret (Mike), Mary (George) and Sara (Ryan); 12 grandchildren, a great-granddaughter, and a great-grandson on the way; 20 nieces and nephews, and a wide web of family, friends, neighbors, fellow teachers and so many more she touched and influenced through her years.

As a lover of words and grammar, Mary and her visitors regularly referenced the large dictionary on a stand in her living room. A favorite word was “Integrity.” Mary’s family is most grateful she had people of integrity lovingly care for her as she transitioned from her Rhinelander home to Millstream Commons in Northfield, Minn., then to Breck Homes in Bloomington, Minn.

We rejoice because Mom is released from suffering, she is rejoined with her memories, and reunited with her loved ones.

Family and friends will honor Mary’s life with a funeral Mass: Nativity of Mary Catholic Church (NMCC) 9900 Lyndale Ave S, Bloomington, MN 55420, Friday, March 13, 11 a.m.(CDT) Visitation before Mass at 10 a.m. (CDT) in the vestibule. A simple luncheon will be served following Mass

There will be a celebration of life in Rhinelander, Wis., in July. Internment will be in Houghton, Mich.

In lieu of flowers, the family encourages you to follow Mary’s lead with contributions to

• Your local Library

• Nativity Catholic School in Rhinelander, Wis.

• Support the staff and residents of Breck Homes through its foundation Houlding On & Letting Go https://www.houldingonlettinggo.org/