To the editor:

I’m finally starting to catch on. For the longest time, I had assumed that elected officials were actually supposed to attempt to solve problems on behalf of those they purport to represent. Turns out, that’s not it.

Evidence would suggest that, once elected, the first order of business for the members of the contemporary political class becomes remaining in office. Not sure exactly why. It can’t be for the good company. But, I digress…

Like robocalls? I don’t. Government says they’re working on the vexing problem, but it’s very complex. And even if, by some accident, they do figure out how to prevent various scammers, con artists, and other miscreants from random phone attacks, be forewarned that banks, politicians, and a variety of other sanctioned brigands (potential political donors) will still be allowed to interrupt your evening meal. Gee, thanks.

Can’t afford your prescriptions? We’ll that’s a tough one, too. Turns out there’s so many fingers in the pot, we can’t figure out how to reduce the cost without irritating our potential campaign donors. So, cash, check, or charge?

Worried about having your phone or computer hacked? Gee, that’s really complicated, too. Turns out there’s these hackers in Eastern Europe… Blah, blah, blah.

Problems with a medical bill? Well, it turns out the doc that treated you doesn’t actually work for the hospital where you had the work done. We mentioned that to you while we were stitching you up. Don’t you remember?

On and on it goes. How to fix the problem of an ineffective, dysfunctional, and terminally compromised government? Maybe have some congressional hearings? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, sorry!

Eliminate term limits? Also, won’t help. If you don’t turn the compost pile every so often, it’ll just stink worse and worse.

Unless we figure out how to starve the beast, it will consume us all. Public financing of political campaigns might be a place to start.