Dear Annie: I’m writing for advice about a dear friend, “Meg,” who we’ve known for more than 40 years. She has a son, “Rodney,” who went to high school with our son and who has always been on the edge of being an outlaw.

Over the years, we’ve seen Rodney continuously depend on his parents to finance his escapades. We saw him wreck his car and then his parents’ so that, for a time, the family had no means of transportation. We saw Meg pay for a very expensive college education where he only took one course: bowling. We saw Rodney join a fraternity where he quickly became an alcoholic. Rodney “worked” for his father’s business and had a child out of wedlock. The mother of his child married a responsible man and has raised their child, thankfully.

Today, Meg’s husband has a severe case of Alzheimer’s, and she cares for him in their home, though he really needs to be in a facility with 24-hour supervision.

Recently, the mother of Rodney’s child found him unconscious after drinking too much and took him to Meg’s house. She then took him to a rehab facility. He’s been there for two weeks now, and the bill is up to $18,000. The facility told Meg that if she doesn’t pay for his continued care, he will be discharged.

My question is, should Meg continue to finance Rodney’s outrageous behavior and risk having no money for her husband’s care and her retirement? Or should she allow the facility to put Rodney out on the street? — Choosing Between Husband and Son

Dear Choosing: From what you’ve described, Meg has spent years trying to save Rodney from the consequences of his choices. Unfortunately, no amount of money can make someone get sober.

Meg’s responsibility is not only to her son but also to her husband and herself, especially given the realities of his Alzheimer’s. If Rodney has any chance of turning his life around, he must get sober, and resources are available to him beyond his mother’s checkbook.

Sometimes the most loving thing a parent can do is stop standing between an adult child and the consequences of his actions. But as difficult as it is to watch a friend struggle, this decision isn’t yours to make. It’s Meg’s.

Dear Annie: I wanted to thank you for cautioning “My OCD Nightmare” about their casual use of the term “OCD.”

Obsessive-compulsive disorder doesn’t just run in my mother’s side of the family; it gallops at full speed and hands out party favors. My grandmother, her sister, my great-aunt, my own brother, my mother and I all have it. I laugh about it with my husband at times because on rare occasions, it can be funny (don’t get me started on wrinkles in the sheets!). But other times, no, it’s not funny at all, and it can be very, very upsetting.

So thank you for telling “My OCD Nightmare” to be careful. I’d add that if they really think they have OCD, help can be found, if necessary. — It Runs in the Family

Dear It Runs in the Family: Thank you for sharing your family’s experience. Your letter made me smile, but the point behind it is an important one. OCD is much more than being neat and organized, and I’m glad you reminded readers that help is available for those who are struggling.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM